Ha ha! So let me ask you a question: Did you feel sorry for me when you read my last column? Or did you think, "Wow, what has Hannah come to these days? Is this the end of her? Is the girl going soft?" If so, you were right. Not only did I get played by some Brit loser, but I also let the whole world know about it. I just laid it bare. You know, all of me. My dreams, my pain... It was kind of endearing, dont'cha think?
See, I know exactly what you people say because I get your fan mail. And I'm pretty shocked at all the support. I thought I'd get more hate mail for that kind of wimpy stuff. Does that mean my readers are mostly sob stories that can't help shed a tear when they watch some lame-ass romantic comedy?
Well, if you're one of those, start shedding your tears right now. Cuz everything I wrote in the last column was a lie. Well, everything except the club review and my sister's birthday. But all that about Mike ditching me and standing me up, about having that dream where Mike went with me to NYC only to wake up and find out that I was utterly alone. It was all a pure fabrication.
Why? I don't know. I guess I wanted to stretch my ability as a writer, to see if I could write fiction, to bend my creative talents into something other than describing the interior decor of some crappy wanna-be club.
So yes, if you are wondering, I just got back from NYC. Yes, I attended my sister's wedding. I'm not going to get into the details of it. Suffice it to say that my parents (yeah, they're divorced) got into this huge drunk screaming fit. I got the whole thing on tape. We couldn't stop watching it on instant replay. Mike and I just kept falling down laughing.
Yup, there's Mike again. Didn't I tell you that all I said was a lie? We did fly out to NYC together in business class. We did fuck in the synagogue at the wedding rehearsal. But we didn't get to shag on the plane. Both of us passed out on sleeping pills.
Oh wait, I'm in a writing mood today. I'm almost done with my column and haven't actually got around to saying anything about the club, HEAVEN. To tell you the truth, I didn't go. I was going to make it up like I did last week's story about Mike and me getting into a fight, but I don't feel like it. This sucks. As soon as you realize you're full of energy to write, you lose it. Anyway, Mike and I drove by last Friday. But there were a bunch of annoying Russian clubbers crowding the way, so we decided to fuck it.
The least I could do is provide you with a link to Afisha's review, right? Here it is: http://msk.afisha.ru/clubs/place/info/?id=17762399
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