Mankind's only alternative 31   JUL.   21  
Mankind's only alternative
Vlad's Daily Gloat - The eXile Blog
MAIN  RUSSIA  WAR NERD   [SIC!]  BAR-DAK  THE VAULT  ABOUT US  RSS
 
 
EXILE BLOGS

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Blogs RSS feed

Club Review March 23, 2007
 
Joke's On You!
By Hannah Katz Browse author
 
 

Ha ha! So let me ask you a question: Did you feel sorry for me when you read my last column? Or did you think, "Wow, what has Hannah come to these days? Is this the end of her? Is the girl going soft?" If so, you were right. Not only did I get played by some Brit loser, but I also let the whole world know about it. I just laid it bare. You know, all of me. My dreams, my pain... It was kind of endearing, dont'cha think?

See, I know exactly what you people say because I get your fan mail. And I'm pretty shocked at all the support. I thought I'd get more hate mail for that kind of wimpy stuff. Does that mean my readers are mostly sob stories that can't help shed a tear when they watch some lame-ass romantic comedy?

Well, if you're one of those, start shedding your tears right now. Cuz everything I wrote in the last column was a lie. Well, everything except the club review and my sister's birthday. But all that about Mike ditching me and standing me up, about having that dream where Mike went with me to NYC only to wake up and find out that I was utterly alone. It was all a pure fabrication.

Why? I don't know. I guess I wanted to stretch my ability as a writer, to see if I could write fiction, to bend my creative talents into something other than describing the interior decor of some crappy wanna-be club.

So yes, if you are wondering, I just got back from NYC. Yes, I attended my sister's wedding. I'm not going to get into the details of it. Suffice it to say that my parents (yeah, they're divorced) got into this huge drunk screaming fit. I got the whole thing on tape. We couldn't stop watching it on instant replay. Mike and I just kept falling down laughing.

Yup, there's Mike again. Didn't I tell you that all I said was a lie? We did fly out to NYC together in business class. We did fuck in the synagogue at the wedding rehearsal. But we didn't get to shag on the plane. Both of us passed out on sleeping pills.

Oh wait, I'm in a writing mood today. I'm almost done with my column and haven't actually got around to saying anything about the club, HEAVEN. To tell you the truth, I didn't go. I was going to make it up like I did last week's story about Mike and me getting into a fight, but I don't feel like it. This sucks. As soon as you realize you're full of energy to write, you lose it. Anyway, Mike and I drove by last Friday. But there were a bunch of annoying Russian clubbers crowding the way, so we decided to fuck it.

The least I could do is provide you with a link to Afisha's review, right? Here it is: http://msk.afisha.ru/clubs/place/info/?id=17762399

Club: HEAVEN

Address: Bolotnaya Nab. 9a

Phone: 767-1474

M: Oktyabrskaya

SHARE:  Del.icio.us  Digg  My Web  Facebook  Reddit
 
 
FROM THE VAULT

The (Culinary) Battle of Vinograd :
Metro Escalator Sentinel
Field Guide To Moscow: Cadaverosus Antiquus :
Travel Guide
The Exile’s 2008 Happy Planet Guide To Moscow :
Photo Essay
Photo Essay: Balakhani, Azerbaijan :
 

 
 
 
LATEST ARTICLES

Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
Editorial
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
[SIC!]
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
[SIC!]
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...

 
 
 

    MAIN    |    RUSSIA    |    WAR NERD     |    [SIC!]    |    BAR-DAK    |    THE VAULT    |    ABOUT US    |    RSS

© "the eXile". Tel.: +7 (495) 623-3565, fax: +7 (495) 623-5442
E-mail: office@exile.ru