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Club Review November 3, 2006
Black October Revolution
By Hannah Katz Browse author

I haven't been getting enough mileage from my fishnets these days, so I figured what better way to dress up for Halloween than as a French maid? I figured I'd make a point, what with slutty Halloween costumes getting constantly bashed by center-left American "feminists" these days. Not that my political statement was noticed by Russians, who dress sluttily every day, but whatever. Protesting is a state of mind.

My original plan was for a girl's night out at XIII to see what all the hype's about with my friend Tanya. She's a Russian, but she's totally cool with being bi. What I mean is she's not just doing it for the men-folk, as most Russians do. When we grind and kiss, it's for real.

Our plans were foiled when eXile connection Dima Shalya wasn't working the door that night, cuz it's not like I was going to drop money on a cover. Um, sorry, but Hannah Katz don't play that! If working at the eXile doesn't even get me into clubs for free, what the hell am I humiliating myself for?

Instead we checked out Papa's for a while, where the eXile name still carries some weight. True, everyone in a costume was getting in for free, but I got to go to the front of the line. Papa's was rockin' as always, packed with chix who made me look like a girl scout. God, I hope I don't look that crazy when I'm wasted. There was this one bimbo dressed in wings who would fall flat on her face whenever the crowd thinned enough to let her drop. Luckily for her that wasn't too often.

I knew I needed to check out something new, though, and Tanya said she had some friends over at BLACK OCTOBER. The name's a terrible pun for an R&B club in the Oktyabr movie theater. At first I thought it was racist but then I remembered that even enlightened Russians call people of color "nyegri".

I don't know how long this place has been open, but it's clearly pretty new because I couldn't find its telephone anywhere online. The face control's really tough unless you're a. the child of an oligarch b. an African student or c. know the bouncers. Good thing Tanya had an in. We pushed our way to the front and got right in, although I can't say it was for free. See, I got my wallet lifted right out of my purse while pushing thru. It's not like I had much money in it, but I was totally shocked. Sure, I had a few of Papa's weird-ass Halloween cocktails, but I wasn't that drunk. Not yet at least.

After getting my wallet lifted, I was totally depressed and decided to get completely wasted. At least it gave me an excuse to not feel guilty about the fact that some Russian dude was buying me drinks. Especially because they cost over 300 rubles a pop.

It's tough to say much about the crowd, as everyone was in costume. The girls were young, but it's not like hip-hop clubs used to be, where everyone's a teenager. I guess R&B's getting more mainstream, as everyone was in their early 20s.

Once you get past face control, there wasn't that much pafos, really. It just felt like a B Club redux. I think the dude who kept buying me drinks was angling for a threesome, but it wasn't his lucky night. At some point Tanya took off without so much as telling me. It was a totally bitchy thing to do, as I didn't even have taxi money to get home. But then, I guess she figured I didn't need it. At that point I was too drunk to bother resisting the Russian dude's advances anyway. He lived with his parents, so I took him back to my place. I think I passed out before anything happened.

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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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