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Club Review April 21, 2006
Grazi For Grezi By Hannah Katz
By Hannah Katz Browse author

Everyone's totally wigging out because I'm writing for the eXile. Like my English friend Annie, she can't stand this paper for reasons which should be obvious to all. Even my sister wrote me from back home (family's from LA, but for all intents and purposes I'm a San Franciscan) wondering if I'd lost my mind again.

Note "again." Everyone who knows me isn't surprised, but that doesn't mean they approve. But I don't give a fuck, seriously. That's just my nature.

Case in point: last Friday night, a visit to GREZI. "Dance club?" you ask.


No, Grezi is the newest striptease club to open in Moscow. Going back through some of the eXile's archives I don't think they really let you fully appreciate what a Mecca this town is for the striptease-inclined. That includes yours truly. I'll tell you why in a minute.

I pushed my married boy-toy Steven into joining me at Grezi. Thinking about menage-a-troising with me and one of the Natashas got his libido way up. You should have seen the sweat build on his thinning English hairline, ha!

Since I'm a party girl I already had about 5 beers and two mojitos before Steven met me. We got there pretty early, 10pm. The security were being kind of assholes to me, I think they didn't understand why a Western chick wanted to go into a strip club. I flashed them some tit and said I was a dancer myself, yelled, and finally they just let me in. Hey, I have just as much right as anyone.

Four years ago, I worked at striptease club in North Beach. It was my last summer in college and I had no money, and my parents were being assholes. People were totally freaked out, but in a way they respected me too..

Grezi is intensely intimate, with just six big couch tables. But the girls there are absolutely beautiful.

It didn't take me more than a few minutes before I was up on stage with them. I became the center of attention, and all these men around were going, "Who's that American chick? I thought only Russian devushki can do that." Think again.

I was totally getting into it. I took off my top, felt up a petite brunette, and took the pole. I even went backstage with the girls. Some security guy helped me back to our couch, but Steven was gone. He was getting a lapdance, and I decided, "Not without me you don't." So I barged in, and he's sucking the girl's tits! So what'd I do? Started sucking them too!

He left the two of us alone, pretending that he was bored. Whatever.

I went back and sat at our couch, but Steven was gone. I kind of fell asleep because I was wasted. And like 30 or 40 minutes later he slides open some door at the end of a hallway, and he and a chick walk out. He looks all sweaty. And he wants to be left alone. Well, guess what. Turns out that that's a private room where, er, anything goes.

So I ordered an hour private with the chick too. But she kept saying "no lesbos" and all that. I finally found one chick who went in with me. Steven had to pay serious cash, but screw him. The girl and I felt each other up, but it wasn't the same without an audience and Steven wouldn't join us.

Forty minutes later, he dropped me off at my apartment where I live with two English teachers. He said he was "tired."

Maybe I need a new guy, the kind who can keep up with me. Then again, I love torturing a rich yuppie like Steven. And he needs a wild chick like me in his life. For now, it's working out just fine.

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Censorship the eXile Way :
Gloat Your Exile: We Predicted The Current Credit Bubble :

Shandra Club & Restaurant : PG Stripper Fun

Dubleya Standards : You Either Censor Our Way, Or the Highway


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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