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Unfiled November 26, 2004
Generation Elitny
The New Romantics By Vika Bruk Browse author

Russians in my English college enjoy all aspects of their happy lives oversees and make most of their health, freedom and sexuality. Their social norms and laid-back attitudes often perplex and shock their English classmates, whom Russians in return consider to be prudish and boring.

"My life is like Bollywood whenever I fuck somebody," says beautiful long-limbed Alexandra. "Just fuck, for one night, there is always a whole crowd of jealous English people who wouldn't stop gossiping about it. I am being discussed all the time. Don't they have sex lives of their own?"

Russian women are very popular among men of various nationalities and social backgrounds for being pretty, well-groomed, easy-going and well, easy. Although Russians are most likely to pair up with Russians, they sometimes also go for Italians and Germans, while Brits are a much less popular choice. Russian men have a harder time finding a partner (as you have already seen in Vlad's case), as Brits simply find them "gay and ugly," with either bad manners or unnaturally over-chivalrous.

"They just seem like... serfs from the history books, even the nice ones... I wouldn't even know what to talk about with them. Potato farming?" says Emma, an English girl.

Twenty-year-old Dana is the only bastion of intelligence and substance in the ocean of shallowness and stupidity usually associated with Russians. Unlike most of them, she lacks rich parents or generous mafia fiances. Dana graduated from MGIMO with a red diploma and received a grant to study in UK. She works most of her free time to support herself and naturally loathes "all those Ksenia Sobchak bimbos."

"I went to X club last night and saw a group of these whores wearing Diamante push-up bras with giant golden crosses around their necks shaking their asses and making out with each other, surrounded by a bunch of horny Spaniards clapping their sweaty hands. I was so disgusted and embarrassed for them. Whenever somebody asks me whether I am Russian, I pretend to be French or something. I don't want to have anything to do with those brainless shalavas".

Despite this some girls manage to juggle their college boyfriends and hot Latino one-night stands with long-term relationships overseas.

Eighteen-year-old Nastya is the ultimate champion in this. She enjoys going out with three men simultaneously. "First of all, I have Volkov. He is an FSB man, a good friend of my father. This is how we met."

I asked her whether her father minds her seeing a much older man, to which Nastya said: "Oh no! He approves of it! My father always said, if anything happens to me, Volkov would take care of our family. He is reliable and has a conscience, not like all these young ones. And he is ripe. He has seen it all already, so he can value a woman. With him, I feel appreciated. He was my first. My first time with him, it went very well. With young guys, they only care about how to get off themselves and abandon you. Volkov wants to please. He is really decent. But he is in Moscow. When I live there, I see him of course, but he calls me every day and gives me gifts. He even asked my father if he can pay for my college, but father said, 'Did you lose your mind? When you marry her, you take her, but now she is my girl, I am taking care.' He loves me so much."

Dana has only one explanation for Nastya's situation: "Of course he buys her slutty clothes and pays for her waxing and blondedying! Sadly her father has no other option but to pamper up his princess and give her away to another daddy. She has no brain, look at her. He just wants to get rid of her, that's why he introduces her to all those old FSB guys. She might be playing around now, but all what she wants to do is to be sold off to some investment banker."

True, Nastya does enjoy her short-term freedom: "Then, of course, I have Slava. Slava is a sweet boy. We were in love, but well... what can he give me? He was begging, begging on his knees, imagine, for me not to go. But I said, 'Listen, this is for the best. If you love me, you will let me get out of here and have a better life without you.' I feel sorry for him, so much. Every time I come back, he cries. Here I have loads of silly boys. Just for fun. Everybody understands, when you are so young, with first class looks, you cannot allow yourself to puff the best years of your life away."

Nastya loves to demonstrate various photos of her nights out, which usually include her tanned curvaceous body squeezed into a silk corset, as she is surrounded by a large group of Caucasian-looking men in black suits.

My English friend Linda who lives next door to Nastya can't help but complain about the constant noise and banging in the room next to her. "Jesus, she has men over every single day!"

From the beginning, short and surprisingly large-pouched Marina was known as "that girl with the ring," referring to the super-size diamond engagement ring she received from her 19-year-old boyfriend, who currently studies in London. Allegedly, they were going to get married after her boyfriend finished his course. Unfortunately, loyalty isn't generally fashionable among Russians, and their union broke after rumors about Marina's fiance's multiple infidelities reached Marina. Naturally she kept the ring.

However, Marina wasn't that chaste herself. One time during the lunch break she came over to Peter whom she barely knew, and asked him whether he wants to sleep with her tonight. Peter politely refused, which however, didn't prevent Marina from making these offers to numerous other men. After a while though, she had to stop, having been rejected by every single heterosexual sexually active young male she knew. She switched to cakes now.

Unlike British people, Russians love to put their personal lives on display and talk about it loudly in the dining hall. No wonder that to outsiders their lives seem to consist entirely of partying and purchasing. Sex, shopping, sex, how much more fun can it get?

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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

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