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Feature Story July 8, 2004
America's Vichy Left vs. Michael Moore By Mark Ames Browse author Email
Page 2 of 4
You want to fall to you knees and thank God or Allah or Harvey Weinstein, or just Mr. and Mrs. Moore, for giving us Michael Moore! Watching him pimp-slap a corporate goon like Storm (an apt name for an unter-SA functionary like her), directly lancing the heart of the evil beast, is sweet, satisfying revenge, and not a moment too soon. It's the little things that Moore does in this interview that make it so effective. Anyone familiar with the crushing little nuances of American diction -- the "you know what?" and "let's move beyond that" as modern versions of the "censored" stamp -- feels this rare sense of vengeful pleasure. Moore's tactic is simple and brilliant: he proved that you can actually neutralize those little bio-weapons they use to censor unpleasant truths simply by ignoring them and talking through them, without apologizing or qualifying yourself, without being embarrassed for being Left.

Russian readers might be wondering, "What's the big deal?" That's because Russians are far braver in their political discourse, even now under Putin's crackdown, than Americans are, despite our First Amendment and how little we have to lose compared to Russians. But let's face it: America's opposition, and America's mainstream, are utterly, venally craven. Except for Michael Moore.

He has single-handedly managed to turn the Right-Wing brutocracy into a pack of whiny fags scrambling to get out of the way of the message that his movie Fahrenheit 9/11 brings, lest it smack them with such a powerful dose of cognitive dissonance that their skulls will burst wide open like that guy in Scanners. They're so frightened that even the "intellectuals" among the Right have been forced to publicly admit that the only defense against him is to run into the basement, lock the doors, shut off the lights and pray, as revealed in National Review editor Jonah Goldberg's recent column: "I haven't seen Fahrenheit 9/11 and I have no intention to. So, if you want to make one of those pious declarations about how you can't judge the movie unless you've seen it, be my guest... I don't need to know very much about you or your ideas to know that if you think Michael Moore is just great, a truth-teller and a much-needed tonic for everything that is wrong in American life, you are not someone to take seriously about anything of political consequence, or you are French."

J. Hoberman does it for the little people

J. Hoberman does it for the little people

Oo, that's a zinger! "French"! That's some co'd shit, nigga! Damn! Even Robert Furs wouldn't go that low!

Ah, what a joy to see the Right behaving so shamefully lame. In fact the Right has been so thoroughly pimp-slapped that they've been forced to turn to a sweaty fair-weather neo-con Brit named Christopher Hitchens to protect their little bubbles from bursting. Hitchens' critique of Fahrenheit 9/11 still stands as the only half-way effective antidote to Moore's movie. When the Republicans have to hide behind a John Bull to defend themselves against an American filmmaker from Flint, Michigan, then you know they're squirting hard. The Right hiding behind a foreigner to protect them from an American liberal. That's right-wing decadence at its clearest, folks.

But just when you thought they were down, there's good news for the American Right. Help is on the way. There's a white knight on the horizon ready to ride in and slay the bad ol' Michael Moore. That white knight -- or rather, that vigilante posse of white knights -- is none other than the American Left. And here is where the anti-Fahrenheit 9/11 campaign gets really depressing.

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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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