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The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

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Feature Story December 25, 2003
 
What a Laugh!
The eXile Looks Back on 2003, The Funniest Year Yet!
 
Page 8 of 17
 
The Joke: In response to Moscow's grotesque culture of Feis Kontrol, the eXile and a group of eXpats led by Creative Factory's Alex Shifrin remade the eXile's slacker summer intern, Jeremy Landau, into New York Superstar DJ Buns McGillicuddy, with an entourage of bisexual model-babes and a Negroidal bodyguard. Buns busted through every feis kontrol like a knife through butter, and Moscow's elitny tusovschiki kissed his ass like he was Ksenia Sobchak himself.

Sad Clown factor: Shambala art director Misha photographed kissing Buns' hand at the entrance, a photo which was distributed in 25,000 copies of the eXile and to tens of thousands of eXile web site readers. Somebody's feeling sad.

Side-Split Score: Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown

21. Saddam Toppled -- Kinda

The Joke: One of the year's best pure sight gags came in early April, when US forces occupied Baghdad and started setting up photo ops for use in Bush's 2004 campaign. Of course, everybody knew what the key scene would be: statues of Saddam being "toppled." Topplin' statues became a key TV cliche in the late 80s and early 90s, when Western journalists photographed marble or metal Lenins falling down over the ex-Warsaw Pact nations. It was "Timmmm-ber!" for Socialism and an easy front-page byline for the camera guys. But the supply of topple-able statues of evildoers was shrinking rapidly until the US took Iraq. Photographers were drooling again at the thought of all those Saddams just waiting to come down. The best of all was the giant Saddam at al-Fardus Square in Baghdad. Troops brought truckloads of journalists there to watch Baghdadis try to drag it down with a rope. It didn't budge, and the press was gettin' antsy, so the Marines had to bring in heavy equipment. Finally, Saddam came down -- sort of. He didn't do the proper topple, as demonstrated in all that classic footage from Berlin and Moscow. Instead, he sort of leaned way over to his right and stayed there, waving at the troops from eye level. He didn't look comfortable, but he definitely didn't look toppled, either. And that was how he stayed, as the photographers finally got discouraged and went to look for more cheerful shots.

Sad Clown factor: Guaranteed to get replayed over and over starting with the Republican Party Convention in 2004.

Side-Split Score: Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown

22. A Million Morons

The Joke: The worst book of the year, no question, was James Frey's rehab memoir A Million Little Pieces. This was actually one of the funniest books ever -- but it wasn't meant to be. The joke is that tens of millions of sobby idiots bought and believed every one of Frey's self-indulgent lies, and accepted his parody of Hemingway laconic narration as high art. And the topper is that just in time for the New Year, Amazon.com's editors just named it the #1 book of the year.

Sad Clown factor: nobody's beaten Frey to death yet. We know his address in NYC, just in case there are still a few true lovers of literature out there.

Side-Split Score: Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown

23. The Rotting Of Alla's Vagina


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FROM THE VAULT

Boyz In The Rayon : We interrupt this club review to remember Leha and visit Rayon.

Separated At Scrotum :

The eXile Guide To European Hatred :
Editorial
How The Great Gazoo Stole Georgia's Democracy :
 

 
 
 
LATEST ARTICLES

Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
Editorial
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
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Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
[SIC!]
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
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The Fortnight Spin
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Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
[SIC!]
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
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Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...

 
 
 

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