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The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
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Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
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Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
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Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

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May 15, 2008 in Face Control

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Feature Story December 25, 2003
 
What a Laugh!
The eXile Looks Back on 2003, The Funniest Year Yet!
 
Page 15 of 17
 
Side-Split Score: Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown

43. Bourgeoisization Of Russia's Elite

The Joke: The days of Russia's rich looking as evil as their methods are over. Say goodbye to wine-colored Boss coats and huge flat-toed leather shoes, flathead hairdos and gangster-like Mercedes Jeeps, and say hello to wire-rimmed glasses, crewneck sweaters, tans, and Land Cruisers. Funny? You betcha! Just watching the new elite in their powdery Scandinavian sweaters trying to act civilized in elitny cafes like Vogue -- when you know they want to whip out their TTs, spray the room and steal someone's moll -- is as funny as Analyze This 2.

Sad Clown factor: Trailblazing anti-flathead Mikhail Khodorkovsky, who introduced the turtleneck, cleancut hairdo and designer glasses to the Russian elite, is now in jail.

Side-Split Score: Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown

44. TIME to die

The Joke: Time Magazine named "the American soldier" as its "person of the year" for 2003. America gave its troops the message, loud and clear: "We love you guys! Just stay there and whittle down the supply of suicide bombers, one at a time! They'll run out of plastic explosive before we run out of rust-belt kids who can't get civilian jobs!" The only killjoys were the grumbling grunts who kept sneaking out emails talking about how they want to go home. Shut up and stay in character!

Sad Clown factor: America's government is slashing veteran's benefits and extending GIs' term of stay in Iraq while denying combat pay to as many soldiers as possible, despite the fact that anyplace in Iraq is likely to become a combat zone on real short notice.

Side-Split Score: Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown

45. The Strokes

The Joke: This edgy indie-rock comedy troupe is back for the sequel to their massive underground-gentrifying hit album of 2001, This Is It. They're still incredibly kewl, as heroin-chic as Kate Moss (only without the heroin), and as pampered private school smarmy as ever. Funniest of all, they still haven't bothered to think of a single fresh chord or melody. Why bother? There's a formula -- Velvet Underground without any of the danger (ie without the Velvet or the Underground) -- make it pretty, and voila! Generation Y hijinks! If Dubya was born into Generation Y, we're pretty sure he'd be in the Strokes.

Sad Clown factor: Last song on the new album titled "I Can't Win." The title alone has us all choked up. Poor, poor prep school whiners. They just can't win!

Side-Split Score: Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown

46. Elitny Chai


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FROM THE VAULT
Al Dilbert
Al-Dilbert :

Dubleya Standards : You Either Censor Our Way, Or the Highway
Barack
US Elections Special Part II: Fear Of An Obama Cabinet :

2002 in Review: Monsters Go Mainstream! :
 

 
 
 
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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
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The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

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