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Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
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Feature Story October 2, 2003
“W” Nation: America Needs Thorazine!
Page 4 of 4
That's not the way it happens in other places. In Argentina, mothers of the "Disappeared" have stood on streetcorners holding up pictures of their dead children for twenty years. In Russia, the mothers of Russian soldiers killed in Chechnya are the most powerful opposition group of all, regularly embarrassing the shit out of Putin's officials by organizing tours of the war zone and demonstrations that keep the faces of their dead sons literally in the faces of Russia's elite.

But the parents of the Americans killed in Iraq keep appearing on US TV with cracked smiles, repeating the ridiculous official lies that killed their sons. Only black American parents have had the sense to curse the people who sent their sons to a pointless death. The parents of white and Hispanic KIAs mumble the party line about how proud they are, and how they're sure their boy is in heaven now.

When the parents of Palestinian suicide bombers showed up on TV dancing around and babbling about how proud they were of their smithereen'd sons, it just seemed to prove how crazy those people were.

And it did. So what does it prove when a GI's mother in Missouri does the same thing?

The same thing.

EXHIBIT D: California Unter Alles

California, a state whose economy, if separated from the United States, would rank as the fifth largest in the world, is undergoing a brutal recession. The recession, and some bad governing, has led to a massive deficit, which Governor Davis has tried to close through unpopular taxes. He's been a disaster as governor, but the good news is, if there's a way of making a bad situation worse, then W Nation will find it. See, W Nation has a problem too. California has voted Democrat in the last three elections. If WN could somehow manage to manipulate things, Putin-like, to place a Republican governor in power, then the state's rich electoral votes could be grabbed and Bush's 2004 election sewn up.

So here's what they done did. A convicted car thief, right-wing Congressman Dan Issa, an Arab, dropped well over a million dollars of his own personal stash to fund a recall drive against the governor, focusing on White Power strongholds in densely white populated Orange and San Diego counties. They collected the necessary signatures, so now the momentum was building.

Phase two was to nominate someone so over-the-top ridiculous that you almost believe that the man is sincere and harmless. That is, if you are a middle-class sucker. That's right, we're talking about Arnie.

Issa, who was in the race, dropped out in a hilariously tearful farewell. Schwarzenegger now runs ads showing him with "regular people" that are so surreal they must have been outtakes from Total Recall.

It's hard to tell what Schwarzenegger really wants. It seems he's made some sort of Faustian bargain with Bush and the Elders of W Nation: they satisfy his craving to reach another obscene, undeserved milestone in his career by elevating him to governor, and in return, he delivers California to Bush.

All seems to be going according to plan, because enough regular Californians find it so fun to hear Arnold talking with that accent that they've decided they want sequels, four straight years of Arnold. It might be kind of funny if so much wasn't on the line: their health and their money. In fact, it's pretty scary, especially because California is always the political trendsetter in American politics. Meaning that although California had resisted the W Nation toxic cloud for three years, it looks set to adopt the insanity seen elsewhere, strengthen it, repackage it, and send it straight back across the nation just when the Bush regime started cracking.

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Prince Caspian
Evangelical Propaganda For Kiddies: A Review of The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian :

The Man Who Would Be Orange : Filthy and Freezing on the Moldovan Campaign Trail

Mr. Limonov on Mr. Medvedev :
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My Day Of Killing Biblically : BESTSELLER REWRITE


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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