Mankind's only alternative 12   JUN.   21  
Mankind's only alternative
War Nerd RSS

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Blogs RSS feed

Whore-R Stories April 17, 2003
Whore-R Stories: Meditations on Misogyny
By Mark Ames Browse author Email
Page 3 of 3
His assumption was that one way or another, every man needs a woman (or a twinkie if homosexuality is your thing) in his life. In that way, I'm damaged. For me, grief comes from the physical presence of a woman in my time-space. It spoils the view. If love is involved, then you're really fucked. You may as well get a job at a bank because your inner world has just been bombed, razed and occupied by love. Every emotion, every thought, is mediated, damaged. Just knowing she might call is enough to sprain the imagination. Nothing is pure, everything is framed. Purity is very underrated these days.

My whore experience came during this striving-to-purity. I ordered her from the Moscow Times classifieds. She was tall and thin. Her face was long, narrow and knobby, not very Slavic. I didn't speak to her. The second I let her inside my apartment, I ordered her straight into the shower. She must have been there for 15 minutes. When she appeared in my TV room wearing a towel, I pointed to my bedroom. I was very gentle with her. All this talk of misogyny, the cold, kewl, antisocial kind, had me annoyed. So I spent the first 20 minutes caressing her, petting, not saying a single word. And no kissing: no snowballs for me. At one point I guess I got too rough, twisting and pulling her nipple. She yelped and said "Ow!" and backed away. I apologized. I was trying not to do that. As Samuel Jackson says in Pulp Fiction, "I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' reeeeal hard to be good."

I don't know her story because I didn't ask her. I don't even know where she was from. I wasn't interested. This story is about me, not her.
SHARE:  Digg  My Web  Facebook  Reddit
Browse author
Email Mark Ames at

The eXile introduces… amateur Whore-R Stories! :
War Nerd
War Nerd Summer Reading Guide :

Be Cool, America. War??? Think it Over : War??? Think it Over

Facial Humilation :


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


    MAIN    |    RUSSIA    |    WAR NERD     |    [SIC!]    |    BAR-DAK    |    THE VAULT    |    ABOUT US    |    RSS

© "the eXile". Tel.: +7 (495) 623-3565, fax: +7 (495) 623-5442