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The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
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Bardak Calendar June 2, 2008
The Fortnight Spin
By Jared Lindquist Browse author

Rumor has it that Apelsin is closing on June 1. Either the concert hall, or the whole place, or something. For good or for remont, I have no idea. Supposedly the rumored last concert will be a rehash of last year’s Stop the Silence fest: Sweden’s SOUNDS LIKE VIOLENCE and Germany’s THE ROBOCOP KRAUS (May 31, Apelsin, 21:00). The indie kids dug it last summer, and this gig is set to start around the time Avant Fest ends, so expect to see a whole ton of taxis driving from the industrial wasteland at Baumanskaya over to Apelsin’s giant phallic bowling pin.

Russia’s answer to MTV is MUZ-TV, which somehow manages to combine the stupidity of the American network with a level of Russian idiocy that makes the channel painful to watch (on a side note, one of the channel’s most popular VJs was spotted rubbing shoulders with the peons at the Mayakovskaya Starlite). It also makes for a surprisingly odd line-up for their MUZ-TV AWARDS (June 6, Olimpisky, 19:00) ceremony. Nominally headlining (meaning playing two songs) will be JENNIFER LOPEZ, probably making less money than she would by playing at an oligarch’s wedding. Actor JARED LETO’s foray into musical ineptitude, the horrible 30 SECONDS TO MARS, will also play a couple of the ear-torturing jams. Likewise, a dozen Russian "artists" will also be on hand to insult anyone with taste.

I get the feeling that somehow I should be familiar with at least one of soul singer MACY GRAY’s (June 7, B1 Maximum, 21:00) songs, but nothing rings a bell. In any case, she’s won a Grammy, sold some records, and is apparently one of the most innovative chicks in R&B today.

Along with STEVE VAI and YNGWIE MALMSTEEN, JOE SATRIANI (June 8, B1 Maximum, 20:00) is at the forefront of the douchebag guitar wanker movement. I think it is fair to say that I hate anyone who is going to this gig.

Much more interesting – and tons more weird – is that American rapper XZIBIT (June 8, Tushino, 21:00) is supposed to be playing at the aerodrome. This is kind of unconfirmed, but I saw it online, and the net doesn’t lie. There is apparently a car show going on all week, so I guess it would make sense for the man behind "Pimp My Ride" to perform.

Those of you into weird electro experiments would do well to check out the ADVANCED MUSIC festival (June 11, GazGallery, 23:00), featuring a whole bunch of wacky people whose music I don’t quite get. All of them seem to hail from down under, where they’re big names in electro, mash-ups, and the like: BUMBLEBEEZ, LADYHAWKE, AJAX, SINDEN and BANG GANG DJS. Should be good if you can get past feis kontrol.

When Britpop made a comeback in the US in the mid-90s, I never really got into THE CHARLATANS (June 12, B1 Maximum, 19:00), but as this city eats up anything Britpop, this gig should be huge, if not boring. They’re supported by fellow Brits DIRTY PRETTY THINGS, which are ex-LIBERTINES, only not featuring PETE DOHERTY. Locals MANICURE and THE WHITE TRAINERS COMMUNITY open.

Conversely, you could head over to see URIAH HEEP (June 12, Luzhniki, 19:00) play a stadium. Dinosaur rock acts like this could barely fill Apelsin a few months back, but now under the new "president," looks like we’ll be seeing their likes in stadiums for the next few years.

Something a bit more interesting is Portuguese electro band BURAKA SOM SISTEMA (June 12, 16 Tons, 23:00). They take Angolan Kuduro music and electro it up. Unusual, at least.

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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
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Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
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eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
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Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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