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Mankind's only alternative

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
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War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
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Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
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Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

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[SIC!] March 21, 2008
Your Letters
Page 4 of 4

But you see, it's the friggin' 2008 and, well, it's 610 years, man, I mean, COME ON! This isn't to say "independent Kosovo" is a great idea. Heck, it's not even an idea. It's a zoning arrangement for racketeering by the drug gang there. I'm only saying, there has to be a less melodramatic way of dealing with those shits than, well, bards'n stuff.

Still, you managed to make me lose my spleen and liver once again.

:D God bless you, dammit! Thank you for that.

Now about Britney's ass... oh, well, never mind!


Dear Mr. KE, Once you’re through wiping your mouth, we’ve got some great news to tell you. Ready? Here goes: THE WAR NERD IS RELEASING A BOOK THIS SUMMER! We nit you shot. Keep an eye out for it, you can find the book pre-linked on Once you’ve got a whole book in hand, just think of all the adoring letters you can dream up in your head? We know that here at [sic] we just can’t wait for the sticky letters to pour in.


Dear Mr. Kalashnikov,

You rock while the U.S. rots! By God, you're the first man I've ever loved. And I'll bet you've got more masculine DNA in one strand of your hairy Russian nutsack than a whole platoon of pussy Marines busy getting their stupid asses kicked all over Iraq and Afghanistan.

The outcome of this evolutionary footrace between the U.S. and Russian is no surprise to me! Read the words of Marshall Georgy Zhukov to his "counterpart" -- what a misnomer and supreme affront to military history -- the bald-headed, Kansas redneck Dwight D. Eisenhower: "If we come to a minefield, our infantry attacks exactly as if it were not there." How could the Pussy Field Marshall Eisenhower respond to such a statement except with a gulp of stunned, pigfucker exasperation? I drink a tumbler of vodka to you! Legend of the Kremlin!


Paul Perkins

Dear Mr. Perkins, Your letter is duly noted. Just so you know, flattery is the universal language that is understood between all conquerors and conquered, so you’re doing the right thing, planning for the future here. We’ve forwarded your contact details to Mr. Kalashnikov. When the Russian Occupation Force comes to America, Vlad will be sure to find you a nice job in a camp, where you can choose the pick of the litter and have them pave your driveway for free.

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Dead Catholics :

Horn of Plenty : Adis Ababa in Moscow turns one

WTO Stands For Worship The Oligarchy :

Solyanka: The Food : It's not just a club


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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