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Mankind's only alternative

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

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Celeb-Retard March 3, 2008
Desperate Measures For Desperate Celebrities
By Kitty McFarlane Browse author
Page 2 of 2

Somehow Rumer Willis, the offspring of ageing hotties Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, got unlucky in the genes department. We all know that Hollywood is a shallow, shallow land that embraces only superficial beauty. So what the hell is Rumer doing there? She is listed on Wikipedia as an actress "having appeared in many of her parents’ movies." Mmhmm… Despite no actual work, Rumer hits up all the parties and poses for all the pictures. And for some reason, the pictures keep being taken. Remarkably, she secured a gig as Miss Golden Globe 2008. Perhaps making desperate arrangements po blatu is not strictly a Russian phenomenon after all. Thank God the writers were still striking!

Larry Birkhead, the biological father of our favorite little cross-eyed Danielynn Marshall Birkhead, aka potential jackpot daughter of the late Anna Nicole Smith, is a proud father. Either that, or he’s pimping out his biological daughter for everything she's worth. Cross-eyed? Let’s inform Entertainment Tonight! One-year anniversary of crack whore momma’s death? Let’s take tiny Danielynn to the graveyard and have it taped for prosperity, my little moneybag. Say "momma," honey, go on, say "momma."

In the most colossal act of desperation in the history of mankind, Corey Haim of Lost Boys "fame" recently took out a full-page ad in Vanity Fair, literally begging for work. IMDB's list of people you may have mistaken him for is almost as long as his list of film and television appearances - pretty long, actually. Can some high-rolling expat please give him some work? Or maybe someone can start casting for Lichny Nomer Chast Dva? Lucky for him, some butthook at A&E actually green-lighted a second season of "The Two Coreys," possibly the most tedious reality show of all time.

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Jared and The Fortnight Spin
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Iggy & the Stooges
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Dark As Fuck: A Review of The Heroin Diaries by Nikki Sixx :


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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