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Bardak Calendar December 14, 2007
Moscow Nitelife Roundup
By Jared Lindquist Browse author

Well, 2007 is finally coming to an end, and there isn't a whole lot of great stuff to put forward at this point. But that's OK, since most of you will either be at home or on a beach somewhere for the better part of the next month. Moscow's promoters know this, so they don't tend to book anything too exciting.

For example, first up is 50 CENT (December 18, Khodinka Ice Palace, 20:00), who first performed in public in Russia at last year's MuzTV awards. I guess he dug being the only black guy in the stadium, as he's coming back. This raise the question of if KANYE WEST had lost the battle for sales, would he have been coming to Moscow instead? I could've pirated his record if that would've been the case. Local "rappers" LEGALIZE open.

Hell, that gig might even end early enough that you can make a special holiday-season gig from our favorite garage punk band, RIVUSHIE STRUNY (December 18, Project OGI, 22:00). OGI is always a great place to see them, for it's cramped basement-show vibe. Plus, beer is super-cheap.

Normally I wouldn't bother to write about German metalcore bands that I don't care about, but my column inches are coming up a little short, so it's a stick situation. To wit: CALIBAN (December 19, Tochka, 19:00) sounds like a mix between SLAYER and POISON THE WELL, and has played with every famous loud band around, such as EARTH CRISIS, CRO-MAGS, PANTERA, etc. Yahoo.

If you need one last dose of Britpop before heading home for the holidays, our boys at Krizis have what you need: the two-day BLAST FEST (December 21-22, Krizis Zhanra, 23:00), which will apparently feature two real British bands – SILVERY and KTY – as well as locals BLAST, MY SILVER REVOLVER, THE WHITE TRAINERS COMMUNITY, MILANA, THE TYPES and LOST WEEKEND. Pretty much like a combination of the entire rotation of bands that played there every weekend this year.

I'm kinda bummed out about going home for the holidays. As even though this is the season it should be safe to jam without thinking about what's going on, the 12/22 actually has two gigs I would definitely be checking out. First up are seminal American grindcore stalwarts ANAL CUNT (December 22, Kvadrat – Ul. Generala Belova 21, korp. 2 – 18:00), which is really just vocalist SETH PUTNAM with whoever he rounded up for the trip. Sadly, I missed their last gig in Moscow about a year and a half ago, but I was told that the 13 minutes it lasted were awesome. Locals ANAL NOSOROG, SWAMP and SLIME apparently open.

The second gig I'd be checking out would be BREAKCORE.RU's THREE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY PARTY (December 22, Plan B, 23:00), which features the UK's PISSTANK as well as Germany's SOCIETY SUCKERS, as well as a shit ton of local DJs. Anyone interested in the outer limits of danceable electronic music would do well to check this out.

One gig on this night that I feel I probably could avoid is a DJ set from the recently charged-with-false-imprisonment BOY GEORGE (December 22, Rai, 23:00). The great thing about this, of course, will be that not a single chick in the room will be old enough to remember Boy George's heyday.

Sadly, the classic Richmond, VA melodic punk band INQUISITION (December 29, Plan B, 18:00) has not come out of retirement to play a pre-New Year gig in Moscow. Instead, this Inquisition is a Colombian Satanic metal band intent on "beheading pigsty Christians." So leave your Orthodox cross at home kids. Jews should be OK.

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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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