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[SIC!] November 30, 2007
Your Letters
Page 3 of 4


Gary Brecher,

I feel that you need to publicly apologise to the children in Malibu who woke up in the middle of the night to their rooms burning down around them. I think you owe an apology to the people who worked in the homes and lost their jobs because their place of employment burnt down. I think you owe an apology to the movie producer who grew up in the ghetto and worked hard his/her entire life to be able to afford a home in Malibu. In America you can be born poor and work hard and find yourself at the top in the end. Imagine if you had such freedom and after a lifetime of hard back breaking work that one morning you wake up and your home is a crisp burning pile of carbon [JUST IMAGINING IT GIVES BRECHER A DOPAMINE-LIKE RUSH--ED.].

You are a real card. Just because you aren't as affluent as those people you feel that you can take a human tragedy and spin it into a sick joke how anybody can be a terrorist? If it takes human suffering for you to find something to write about then you really need to rethink your journalistic abilities. You are no better than any other pop journalist. I think this article makes Gary a threat to national security. Please feel free to read what he posted after the terrible fires in Malibu on nov 5th 2007 in "The eXile." I myself am not a "rich Hollywood producer," but I live in southern California. [THEN WHAT KIND OF MORON ARE YOU WASTING YOUR SCARCE SYMPATHY ON RICH PEOPLE WHO WOULD SOONER RUN YOU OVER IN THEIR PRIUS'S THAN INVITE YOU TO THEIR POOL PARTY!--ED.]

I can empathise with these people having to wake up from a burning home, in my pajamas, be forced to take what little i can stuff into my car that reminds me of my life and kiss everything goodbye. I hope that one day you Gary Brecher feel the same degree of suffering as those who lost their homes if not their lives feel. [BRECHER HOPES HE FEELS THE SUFFERING OF OWNING INSURANCE ON A 10 MILLION DOLLAR HOME, AND COUNTING THAT UP WHILE STAYING WITH HIS 22-YEAR-OLD ACTRESS/MODEL/WIFE...YES, THE PAIN WOULD BE UNBEARABLE, COMPARED TO HIS LIFE AS AN OFFICE SLAVE IN FRESNO, LIVING IN A DUPLEX, SURFING THE NET FOR WAR NEWS. YOU REALLY GOT HIM WITH THIS ONE!--ED.] You will realise that with or without money we're all the same human flesh and bone. To find pleasure and humor from another persons pain is sad.

Dr Ryan Reeb

Dear Dr. Reeb,

To read your letter is to feel sadness. But don't take it from us, take it from the Russian President, Vladimir Putin. Mr. Putin? Take it away! "Oh, uh, I have to answer another letter? Uh, right. So, uh, go out and vote for me Sunday, and uh, it's a vote for, uh, Russia, and, democracy...the West heck, who am I fooling? You're right, Dr. Reeb, I'm sad. Sad and miserable and completely confused, ever since I read Edward Lucas's letter. I mean, what's a tyrant to do? It ain't fair, I tell ya! This guy Lucas, he's just made me look like a fool. And the worst part of it is, I feel like a fool. He's right! I'm wrong. I'm just a no-good tyrant, and I'll never be anything but that. I mean, I like Edward Lucas more than I like Vladimir Putin, imagine how everyone else reading that letter feels! I'm nothing next to him. He's got the looks, the brains, the power, and most important, he can take it like a man, right on the pusser. Me? I'm the sensitive type. Always have been. That's why I took up judo. All nerds take up judo or karate. I always wanted the chance to hit back. Now I realize that my whole life has been a waste. A sham, I tell ya! It's not about hitting back, it's about showing to the world that you're not hurt when you're hit, that you're a bigger man than that. Stupid me, stupid stupid stupid. I'd like to respond to your letter, I really would, but, well, I just want to be alone for now. Is that okay? Sorry. Some other time."

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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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