Mankind's only alternative 27   JUL.   21  
Mankind's only alternative
Welcome
MAIN  RUSSIA  WAR NERD   [SIC!]  BAR-DAK  THE VAULT  ABOUT US  RSS
 
 
EXILE BLOGS

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Blogs RSS feed

[SIC!] November 20, 2007
 
Your Letters
 
Page 3 of 3
 

HUMAN INGENUITY

War Nerd,

Just read your piece on prison warfare, which I enjoyed very much. I thought I'd share with you an improvised prison weapon I read about in a British armed-robber memoir called A Few Kind Words and a Loaded Gun. The author says that in borstals like Wormwood Scrubs every row of cells had pots of hot water and sugar for the prisoners' tea (which is very British, you must admit). As you might guess, the prisoners would heat the water as hot as possible and mix in enough sugar to form a hot syrup. Said syrup would be flung on your enemies, where it would stick and burn, leaving large scars. Sort of a homemade napalm.

Thamls for all the good reads,

Jordan

Dear Mr. Jordan, Islom Karimov replies, "Hold on a second here...I'd like to come up with a witty reply, this being my first appearance on the [sic] Show and all, but I'm too busy writing that formula down...let's see, one pot of boiling hot water...sugar...how many tablespoons of sugar was that again? No no no, don't worry, I'll just say a kilo for every square centimeter of human rights prisoner flesh...bring to a boil...check for syrupy consistency...then apply liberally over human rights prisoner's sensitive areas...marinate for two weeks, turn prisoner over, and repeat...yeah, I like that recipe. I like it a lot. It's for, uh, a new spa I'm opening up in Tashkent. Yeah, that's the ticket, a Wellness Spa for human rights activists, featuring Karimov's special Face Wraps, Car Battery Massages, and Syrup Baths. Anyhoo, thanks for having me on the [sic] Show, love to stick around, but, uh, I really gotta run...loads of work to do, you know how it is when you're a Central Asian depsot and all... I'll let you know how your recipe makes my clients scream...with delight, I mean, heh-heh..."


SHARE:  Del.icio.us  Digg  My Web  Facebook  Reddit
 
 
FROM THE VAULT
The War Nerd
Burn, Malibu, Burn! : Fire: the most effective, underused weapon in the world

Propaganda Marathon : One Week In the Life of State TV News
Dancing
Katz 2.0 @ Version 1.0 :

Censorship the eXile Way :
 

 
 
 
LATEST ARTICLES

Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
Editorial
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
[SIC!]
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
[SIC!]
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...

 
 
 

    MAIN    |    RUSSIA    |    WAR NERD     |    [SIC!]    |    BAR-DAK    |    THE VAULT    |    ABOUT US    |    RSS

© "the eXile". Tel.: +7 (495) 623-3565, fax: +7 (495) 623-5442
E-mail: office@exile.ru