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Club Review November 13, 2007
 
House Party Hipsters
By Dmitriy Babooshka Browse author
 
Page 2 of 2
 

No one paid attention to my ring, my suite or me, most likely because it was so dark inside. I guess Labelfuckers concept was the reason--on their website I read that they are not against labels, but they don't care about them. What a strange position to take in Moscow--we are still a rising economy and most of us haven't had enough of it to reject it so easily!

I had few meaningless conversations with some important expats who came to Russia to work for a famous telecom company. It was the first time they went to a party in Moscow, even though they'd lived here for almost a year (that what happens to you if you don't read the eXile regularly!). Soon I got bored of talking to them. The beautiful Russian dyevs were too busy trying to get laid by some American bankers, and clearly they weren't interested in me.

I have a rule that no matter what party I attend, I must see the toilet before I leave. This is one of my must-dos. Labelfucker's toilet was awesome! It was a true stroika (construction) site featuring piles of concrete bags, pipes, paint and wood separated from other party animals with just a sheet of torn paper, through which you could see almost everyone. I'm not shy about my bodily functions, so when I started to shit, one of the party promoters stepped into the toilet offering me a bowl of water. What a friendly touch!

Luckily I didn't stay long on the toilet because I got a phone call from my friends inviting me to a party at the just-opened PROSTO BAR.

Its promzona address and dark empty streets looked familiar. Exactement! This is the area where Technika Molodezhi is loacted. Maybe one day it'll become a fancy neighborhood like Vinzavod? At that moment, when I was drunk and nervous, this idea seemed like pure science fiction.

All my fears were gone when I walked inside and beheld a true a Lolita paradise. A club for young student sluts twisting their bodies, all of them ready to hook up with you for the evening if you just buy her a Klinskoye beer. If you're wearing a Ted Baker suite and a golden ring, then you're the tsar of the club. The downside is all the Euro-pop music and a very modern lighting system.

I was enjoying a cheap but decent meal while my new prey from Vologda was getting drunk on free beer. All my efforts were not vain--finally she asked me about my ring. I didn't have to make up a story about a secret society. In fact I didn't have to tell her anything at all, she was that easy. But even so, I better think of a good story for this ring, next time the girl may not be this easy.

Club: Prosto Bar

Address: 17, 1st Yamskogo Polya Str.

Phone: 257 07 17

M: Belorusskaya

Hours: 11:00 – till last guest.


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