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Club Review November 13, 2007
House Party Hipsters
By Dmitriy Babooshka Browse author
Page 2 of 2

No one paid attention to my ring, my suite or me, most likely because it was so dark inside. I guess Labelfuckers concept was the reason--on their website I read that they are not against labels, but they don't care about them. What a strange position to take in Moscow--we are still a rising economy and most of us haven't had enough of it to reject it so easily!

I had few meaningless conversations with some important expats who came to Russia to work for a famous telecom company. It was the first time they went to a party in Moscow, even though they'd lived here for almost a year (that what happens to you if you don't read the eXile regularly!). Soon I got bored of talking to them. The beautiful Russian dyevs were too busy trying to get laid by some American bankers, and clearly they weren't interested in me.

I have a rule that no matter what party I attend, I must see the toilet before I leave. This is one of my must-dos. Labelfucker's toilet was awesome! It was a true stroika (construction) site featuring piles of concrete bags, pipes, paint and wood separated from other party animals with just a sheet of torn paper, through which you could see almost everyone. I'm not shy about my bodily functions, so when I started to shit, one of the party promoters stepped into the toilet offering me a bowl of water. What a friendly touch!

Luckily I didn't stay long on the toilet because I got a phone call from my friends inviting me to a party at the just-opened PROSTO BAR.

Its promzona address and dark empty streets looked familiar. Exactement! This is the area where Technika Molodezhi is loacted. Maybe one day it'll become a fancy neighborhood like Vinzavod? At that moment, when I was drunk and nervous, this idea seemed like pure science fiction.

All my fears were gone when I walked inside and beheld a true a Lolita paradise. A club for young student sluts twisting their bodies, all of them ready to hook up with you for the evening if you just buy her a Klinskoye beer. If you're wearing a Ted Baker suite and a golden ring, then you're the tsar of the club. The downside is all the Euro-pop music and a very modern lighting system.

I was enjoying a cheap but decent meal while my new prey from Vologda was getting drunk on free beer. All my efforts were not vain--finally she asked me about my ring. I didn't have to make up a story about a secret society. In fact I didn't have to tell her anything at all, she was that easy. But even so, I better think of a good story for this ring, next time the girl may not be this easy.

Club: Prosto Bar

Address: 17, 1st Yamskogo Polya Str.

Phone: 257 07 17

M: Belorusskaya

Hours: 11:00 – till last guest.

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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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