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Club Review November 13, 2007
House Party Hipsters
By Dmitriy Babooshka Browse author

Women have it easier than men. If they belong to the elite class, they can easily show it with all their purse dogs, fur costs or designer handbags. Or babies fitted out with the latest expensive Western accessories, going by the newest trend.

After I got my Sony PSP, my new mobile phone and iBook, and satisfied with my VW Passat that I bought last spring, I didn't know what to buy next. Now, you might complain that all I do is talk about which things I buy, but if you remember this is what editor Ames wanted me to do here. "Don't just review club, but tell us what goes on in the minds of the Putin yuppies," he wrote me. "You guys are a mystery to us, tell us what you think about, talk about, buy, etc." So that's what I'm doing here every column, and if you don't like it, well that's too bad.

So, now you're probably wondering what new hi-tech gadget I bought for myself? If so, you're wrong. I didn't have my eye on another gadget, but rather, on jewelry. Since I'm a successful manager with a serious future, I can't go around wearing loud rapper necklaces like they do on MTV. Instead I decided to go for something sophisticated--some kind of really unique ring.

A well-educated friend of mine once told me that if you go to an American college, you can become a member of a secret community called a "fraternity," where each member gets a special ring. Also after you graduate, your university gives you a ring with an engraving of whatever subject you majored in. The ring is like a key to other similar societies, and anywhere I go, I can meet people with a similar ring, and we can help each other out like brothers. I have seen the Skulls movie and so I know how it works.

Unfortunately we didn't have this kind of secret society in my PTU (trade school) and I have never heard of anything like this in other Russian institutions. In fact, rings aren't very popular with men, especially after the early 90s red-jacketed mafia butt-heads who used to go around with vulgar showy rings.

Luckily a good friend who was just in India came back to Moscow and gave me a massive golden Bvlgari ring for just $20. Well, it wasn't 100% Bvlgari, but why pay 100 times that price for a ring that looks exactly the same?

Last weekend I had a chance to show off my new ring at a very closed and restricted "house party" that I was invited to as the eXile club reviewer. Ames passed me a word saying that a group of promoters called LABELFUCKERS was making a party at someone's penthouse--with a view over the Frunzenskaya embankment. Ames didn't want to go himself, since he said he hates leaving his apartment, so he sent me instead.

This private house party trend is very happening in Moscow--going to nightclubs is just not that cool anymore. These days, the clubbers gather at VIP parties at someone's apartment, studio or gallery. To get to the private party you need to know the right people who can tell you not just the address, but more importantly, the password. Usually these parties don't have face control because if you've got the password, you're already super-cool. The face control trend is now for gopniki and other losers pretending to be cool.

I put my ring on and dressed in my Ted Baker smart casual suit, which in my opinion perfectly fits the concept of a young Moscow gentlemen who is a part of a closed, elite social class which parties at penthouses.

The party was held at a typical residential building with a typical podyezd. The secret door inside was made of metal and had five or six locks, but when it came to being elitny, this didn't even compare to the High Society door that I saw at Most.

Once inside, I realized my expectations were a little too high. Inside it looked like a spacious one room apartment in the early stages of construction, packed with about a hundred people. Of course all of them looked beautiful (people of this group are "in the know," don't forget!) and I saw some faces I recognized from other parties.

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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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