Mankind's only alternative 23   OCT.   21  
Mankind's only alternative
Welcome
MAIN  RUSSIA  WAR NERD   [SIC!]  BAR-DAK  THE VAULT  ABOUT US  RSS
 
 
EXILE BLOGS

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Blogs RSS feed

Death Porn September 12, 2007
 
Death Porn: Can Murderers Kill Fast Enough?
A few cracked cases, a few cracked skulls.
 
Page 2 of 3
 

GOOD POLICE'N

Children

If there's a common theme running through the cases landing on the DP Bureau's desks this week, it's that they've been solved, and quickly, too. What's responsible for this shocking efficiency on the part of Russia's finest? We have no idea. And frankly, it frightens us.

Take the recent rape and murder of a 13-year-old schoolgirl in the Khabarovsk region. With school still out and her parents nowhere to be found, the vulnerable young girl was passing time by wandering around town alone. An older man asked her if she wanted to join him for a walk. She agreed, and didn't think it weird that her companion decided to take a path through an abandoned cemetery. According to RIA Novosti, when they finally got to a special spot he wanted to show her, he beat, raped and then strangled her. But he was too wrapped up in post-coital rape bliss to bother with disposing of the body and left her there for the local strays. It's not clear how the police got onto his trail, as there were no witnesses, but on August 23 they nailed the perp. He's now awaiting trial.

GOOD COPS

Children All In The Family Really stupid criminal

This DP isn't a DP at all. It's another story of exemplary police work, this time on the part of Moscow's militsia. On the evening of August 5, after drinking more than his share of vodka at the dinner table, Muscovite Zakhir Musaev got in a heated dispute with his wife. RIA Novosti didn't report the nature of the argument, but we guess it might have had something to do with the wife's infidelity. After a long and protracted argument, which was loud and violent enough for the neighbors to call the police, the man grabbed his one-and-a-half-year-old-daughter out of bed and dangled her, Michael Jackson-style, by the foot from his balcony. This while still shouting at his wife. The cops arrived on the scene and, in a rare display of quick thinking and togetherness, unfurled a sheet just as the man let the kid fly. As in some dreamy French cartoon, the child landed in the sheet and came out of the ordeal unharmed. Her father, meanwhile, is looking at attempted murder. Did we say these cops were on the ball, or what?

DADDY'S GIRL

All In The Family Low-yield murder Really stupid criminal Carved up like a turkey

In the city of Mirny ("peaceful"), located in the Yakutsk oblast, a 15-year-old girl got sick of repeatedly asking her father, a well-to-do director of a local diamond-mining company, for money. Why was he so stingy? Why couldn't he give her as much money as often as she asked for it? The desperate teen didn't seem to know why, but she had a solution: Daddy's ATM card. And she knew of only one way to get it: murder. She drafted her 20-year-old boyfriend to do the dirty work for her, but at the last moment decided to join in the fun. They picked a weekend when her mom would be out of town and waited for her dad to come home from work. When he got through the door, the pair pounced on him with a hammer. After rendering him unconscious with repeated blows to the head, they finished the job using a DP standard issue kitchen knife. After making sure he was dead, they packed his body into her boyfriend's car and dumped the corpse outside city limits. When they got back to the apartment to clean up the mess, they found the girl's 10-year-old brother at home. The kid told them that he just got home from a friend's house a few minutes before they got there. He lied. In fact, the kid was hiding in the closet and heard the whole thing. Armed with her daddy's ATM card, the two lovebirds got in their car and hit the road. But they didn't make it far. The little kid talked. The pair was arrested as they tried to withdraw money in a nearby town.


SHARE:  Del.icio.us  Digg  My Web  Facebook  Reddit
 
 
FROM THE VAULT

Frey's Fall : Some Sad Lessons

The Year in Celebutards: 2007 :

Felgenhauer-Gate: Moscow Times editor drops the censored stamp on its own Russian dissident :

The Viagra Challenge :
 

 
 
 
LATEST ARTICLES

Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
Editorial
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
[SIC!]
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
[SIC!]
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...

 
 
 

    MAIN    |    RUSSIA    |    WAR NERD     |    [SIC!]    |    BAR-DAK    |    THE VAULT    |    ABOUT US    |    RSS

© "the eXile". Tel.: +7 (495) 623-3565, fax: +7 (495) 623-5442
E-mail: office@exile.ru