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The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
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Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
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[SIC!] September 10, 2007
Your Letters


Dear Mr. Brecher,

About your Sikh article. That's nice, but there is no conversion concept in Sikhism, other than converting from ignorance to enlightenment. The only way to get enlightened in Sikhism is by studying the Guru Granth Sahib's holy scriptures. Many Sikh priests and preachers preach a Hinduized form of Sikhism full of Brahamanised rituals. Few actually preach the contents of Guru Granth Sahib. The hypocrites follow 90% Hindu philosophy disguised as Sikhism.

I am a white American lady that is studying the Guru Granth Sahib. I hope one day you will call me and chat. I am President of Guru Granth Parchar Mission of USA, Inc. I live in the bay area of California near San Francisco. My toll free number in USA is 888-875-6415. If you have any questions about Sikhs philosophy or want to take the Amrit, be careful who you go to. There are lots of political evil spirits fooling many Sikhs back into Hinduism.

Nancy Tobesman

Dear Mrs. Tobesman,

Mr. Brecher isn't all too keen on chatting with a New Age hag, but to all of our Sikh readers, and to all of our Indian readers everywhere, if you're tired of surfing too many white chicks/Sikh dicks sites and want to get yourself some real genuine gullible gori-snapper, then boy have we got the gori for you!


Hi Mark,

Just a few quick words to my new favorite website. I discovered you guys through a link on Howard Stern re: some recent buzz about the Maroon 5 frontman. I've even read past articles and enjoy the humor while you maintain an unbiased account, i.e. Mayonnaise and Colombine fascist Hoffschneider.

Keep up the entertaining wordsmithing,


Jerry Silverman

Dear Mr. Silverman, We thought you said it would just be "a few quick words." But we count 58 words. Please be more accurate next time. You really fooled us into thinking we'd be reading 3-4 words max.


Dear Nancy Deal,

Your Ofis Space are some of the most brilliant, funny articles I have EVER read. Oh, my God! I work in a medical office; thanks for the insights. Are there any more babes like you in Russia?


PS: Sick as I am, I really want to go visit. Before, I just kinda wanted to visit.

Dear Mr. Jed, Since you're around doctors and all, maybe then you can finally diagnose that giant painful sore on Nancy's vagina, the one that's constantly oozing pus and yeast curds and... oops, wait, hope we didn't spoil your infatuation with her.


War Nerd,

You should get your paws on this [link to some shitty book - Ed.] and review it. This guy is about the most pompous yet stupid "commentator" I've ever run across, and this book should be chock full of howlers.

just as a point of reference, during the Kosovo "war" this guy wrote for Mother Jones his ruminations that the "real" motive for NATO going to war was the precious lead mines at Trepca, which he estimated to be worth 100 billion dollars. Yep, NATO went to war for that rare and precious commodity, lead. (his errors at calculating the value of such an asset alone were hilarious). oh and he styles himself as "Noam Chomsky's younger brother."

Incidentally, however, your pals Mark and Matt were almost as far off the mark, with breathless predictions of the noble Serbs fighting to the last blahblahblah. I still think you should write up one or more of the various Balkan wars.

Mark Nuckols

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Tibet - War Nerd
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Body Outline
My First Russian Corpse : A Bum, A Bill, And A Body

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Moscow Nitelife Roundup :


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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