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The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sashas...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Shwarma Shuttle Expo This hopped-up "Kopeika" Lada shows off its rubber-burning power to an awed provincial audience...
May 11, 2008 in eXile TV

He Loves Me ... He Loves Me Not ... He Loves Me! Why does this woman wear her shiner...
May 1, 2008 in Face Control

Sympathy For Serbia
Mark Ames ( Email ) on February 21, 2008

I won't lie: I just watched footage of the Serbs burning down the US Embassy in Belgrade, and it made me feel great. It's always nice to see assholes getting their just desserts, but in Serbia's case, it's more than that. The insane and idiotic NATO war against Serbia over Kosovo in 1999 was the war that made the even more idiotic and insane invasion of Iraq in 2003 possible. It was the first time that America led a war against another country without UN approval, making every NATO country complicit in the Iraq invasion by setting the precedent. And it was the first time that the liberal hawks aligned with the neo-conservatives to reshape the world in their moronic vision.

What's particularly gratifying in watching the Serbs protest and burn is that it shows the Serbs haven't been completely coapted and turned into harmless little Washington bootlickers like the rest of Europe. They have international law on their side, and they have history on their side, but the real question is whether or not they still have their souls. The protests of the past few days, and the burning of the embassy, show that they do.

And what do America and their lapdogs get for all this? Johnny, let's show the West their prize: Lovely Kosovo, a pre-fab failed Islamic state ruled by narcomafia thugs who successfully ethnically cleansed not only Christian Serbs but also the Roma (gypsies) and even fellow Muslims in the minority Gorani and Bosniak communities, for the simple reason that they speak Serbian rather than Albanian.

But wait, there's more! If America and the West order this special Failed Islamic Kosovo State now, they'll also get this special bonus offer: a total unraveling of the post-WW2 geopolitical order, with all sorts of enclaves demanding independence based on the "Kosovo Precedent," from Cyprus, Israel and Georgia to Thailand and Sri Lanka, and all points in between! Isn't that just swell! Because you know, America and the West really suffered awfully in those post-WW2 years with the way things were. Why not just fuck it all up and see how it turns up! Roll the dice, baby! You're a gambler, aren'tcha? Why leave the table when you're a million bucks ahead, when you can turn that million into 10 million, or 100 million!

Every shit-head who conned America into these humanitarian wars, from the David Rieffs and Thomas Friedmans to the Bill Kristols and Richard Perles, there's a message for you in the flames rising from Belgrade's US Embassy, a message from someone named "Mahmoud Ahmadinejad." It says here: "Thanks, dumbfucks--oops, I mean thanks, guys! Couldn't have destroyed American power better myself if I tried. And believe me, I've tried! Drinks are on me--and heck, I don't even drink! Ha-ha! Yours, The Mahmster. PS: The Binster and the Kimster told me to 'give you props' whatever that means. PPS: You know what I really think you should do? You oughtta kick Russia out of the G-8 and...sorry I'm just laughing here too much...and also maybe like launch a massive air attack on my country. Seriously, it's uh..because we sponsor terrorism. Yeah, seriously, do those two things, and I guarantee you America will be a hyperpower in no time. Bet it all, baby! No seriously, I pro--HAHAH--sorry, I promise. Haha-hoohoo...gotta go now, later! My sides are killin' me! Hoo-hoo-hoo!!"

--Mark Ames

Late notes: After posting this, I got this letter from a reader in California:

Hey Mark,
You're missing a surreal day of propaganda on US news channels. While the burning of the embassy in Belgrade was going down, FoxNews had bigger fish to fry--trying to marginalize the New York Times article on McCain using spurious arguments.

Meanwhile, CNN was giving us live coverage and feeding the American public opinions like this one from Wesley Clark, "This protest represents a small minority of Serbs," and something like, "Look, the Serbs have to recognize we're in the 21st century now and the time for nationalism has passed." Then they had some Serbian magazine editor on, and after he finished his points they kept restating them in twisted, pro-NATO invasion form for the American audience.

Almost paradoxically, FoxNews picked up the Belgrade story a bit later and they invited on a guest who actually calmly explained why the Serbs are upset, avoiding terms like "radicals" and "Neo-Nazis" that were repeatedly said on the CNN coverage. However, I'm sure this dearth of using loaded terms will be "corrected" in later coverage. (Predictably, later FoxNews coverage became more confrontational than the position of the first guest. They brought on some guy who wondered why the police armored vehicles didn't run over the protesters and then said to drive home his point, "It didn't look like they were trying too hard to stop them." Probably one of the most idiotic things I've heard in a long while.)

I'm sorry you're missing--lots of emotions are evoked: anger, mirth, joy at seeing the embassy burned, admiration for the protesters burning the jeeps, etc.

It's weird, as the news day went on, the story slipped further and further back in the order. I guess they couldn't find any talking heads who understood what was going on.

See all: eXile Blog  


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscows Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywoods Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...

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