Mankind's only alternative 16   JUL.   19  
Mankind's only alternative
Vlad's Daily Gloat - The eXile Blog

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Blogs RSS feed

Unfiled March 6, 2007
Gaming Review: THE STERVA
Now Every Russian Girl Can Be A Sterva!

From the makers of the mega-hit game THE SIMS comes the most highly-anticipated breakthrough in Strategic Life Simulation Gaming: THE STERVA.

The Sterva

In THE STERVA, you play a young female who arrives in Moscow from the provinces, vulnerable, poor, and lonely, but full of sex appeal and ambition. Your objective is to be the most ruthless STERVA in all of Moscow, using anyone and anything to satisfy your own pointless caprices.

THE STERVA's innovative technology offers graphics and situations so life-like that players will not only find it entertaining, but educational and psychologically rewarding.

START UP! Your online personality is fully customizable. You can choose over a hundred different attributes. Each one will affect your STERVA abilities in unpredictable ways. For example, here "NATASHA-KOSHECHKA" is forced to choose which type of snapper she will start out with. How about "crew cut"? It'll save scarce money on razor blades, but with a scruffy snapper like that, you may have a tougher time breaking a rich man's heart!

Your virtual STERVA increases her power by earning points in four main categories: NUMBER OF HEARTS SHE BREAKS; VALUE OF GIFTS SHE ACQUIRES; NUMBER OF SEXUAL CONQUESTS SHE ACHIEVES; and CENTER OF ATTENTION STRENGTH. In this true-to-life screen shot, we see the virtual STERVA causing a major scandal, and scoring big. Your powerful, wealthy sponsor has sent his wife and children off to London for a week in order to meet you. You cleverly arrange it so that when your sponsor pulls up to your podezd in his migalka-toting Ferrari, you are "caught" having kinky exhibitionist sex with a cute passerby. If you can manage your rich sponsor's anger, you'll be sure to turn around his anger into his begging for forgiveness...and a Nokia mobile phone worth 37,000 rubles! A super-STERVA would turn his anger around and torture him for a Mini Cooper! So, are you STERVA enough?

Online multi-player interactive gaming pits STERVAS from all over the Former Soviet Union. This screen shot captures three STERVAS named Olga and one named Olyichka as they all fight over the heart of a wealthy, vain, unsuspecting Older Man. This is where the strategy gets even trickier. The Old Man is easy to conquer, but his heart is a highly-valuable prize in the game of STERVA. You have to fight off rivals while at the same time winning his trust and affection. Employing a cunning mixture of giggling at his bad jokes, flattery, dropping things on the floor in order to reveal parts of your body, feigning stupidity, gossiping about your rivals by way of seeming to protect your intended prey for his own benefit, your goal is to leave the room with him, and leave your rivals high and dry. This room is experts-only.

As you advance in STERVA, the number of pitfalls and boobytraps you face increases accordingly. One of the STERVA's fatal mistakes is getting pregnant. This can set your character's STERVA points almost back to the elektrichka vokzal that you started from. In this screen shot, an expert level player, NATASHA-SEXY, successfully solved her newborn albatross by dropping her baby off with her grandmother in her home village in the provinces. However, since she didn't properly manage both her time in Moscow acquiring gifts and broken hearts together with making sure that her grandmother fed her child, the child came back to haunt her at the worst time possible: during her first-ever elitny party in Barvikha. This life-like unwanted child is shown here crying for sushi rolls, the only food he knows.

STERVA BEWARE! In this screen shot, an intermediate player, NATASHA-SUPERSEXY, thinks she's made another kinky sexual conquest by engaging in a one-night stand with a drunken banker whom she just met two hours earlier. Had she succeeded in coldly satisfying herself, she might have even made a start towards breaking his heart. However, her fortunes changed when she got careless, and the computer-generated banker surprised her by unloading a giant load of cum on her face and into her hair, thereby HUMILIATING the STERVA. This resulted in a 25% loss in her STERVA powers across all categories, plus another 25% penalty loss in the BROKEN HEARTS category. She must leave the main gaming area for 12 hours to wash herself off and to cry on the phone to her first boyfriend from her village.

Success! The STERVA finally gets her own key to a sponsor's mansion in Zhukovka. But don't relax too much just yet. Comfort is the enemy of the STERVA, weakening her malice-fueled ambition. Keep your STERVA weaponry sharp by accusing servants of stealing, or sleep with them in such a way that your sponsor suspects you, but can't prove it, leading to the servant's strange disappearance, and to that long-last marriage proposal. Since you're not getting any younger, this might be the one proposal you accept...GAME OVER for this successful STERVA...and time to start again!

The Sterva For Men!

Coming this fall, the follow-up to the smash hit STERVA, it's STERVA-2: FOR MEN!

Forget Nazi zombies, ghouls, gangsters and soldiers! Fans of violent gaming have never faced an enemy as deadly and frightening as the STERVA!

Your male character must navigate a labyrinth of hallways and dance floors in the largest, most elitny nightclub in all of Moscow, packed with irresistably sexy, cynical, money-grubbing bitches. Your mission? To neutralize as many STERVAS in the club as you can, before they claw out your heart and suck out its juices dry.

Danger! You've walked into a swarming nest of STERVAS. The only way to weaken their powers is to not look at them as they try to catch your attention. Once you've weakened their self-esteem enough by being a cold and unimpressed jerk, you can get in close enough to switch to your next weapon, the deadly "HAND" weapon. Use your HAND to slap the STERVA in the face. By slapping her repeatedly, her bitchiness will turn to unrequited love. But be quick and merciless, and don't listen to her cries! Locate one of the hidden "BACKHAND-SLAP" weapon upgrades, and triple your slap-power. Now you only need to slap her ten or twenty times to make her love you!

Ready for the kill! Your character has slapped the STERVA upside the head so many times that she's helpless and in love. Now it's time to finish her off. Deftly switch from your HAND-weapon to your PENIS-weapon. Quick! Insert your PENIS into her vagina, pump, and ejaculate. If you succeed in making the STERVA pregnant, she has to leave the nightclub, and no longer presents a menace to you. Now you're ready for the VIP room. Bitches, your game is through!

Features Russia, Ukrainian and Moldovan language support.

Recommended for girls ages 5 years and up

SHARE:  Digg  My Web  Facebook  Reddit

Your Letters :

Censorship the eXile Way :

Moscow Nitelife Roundup :

Clubbing Adventures Through Time : The gay, the indie and the romantic


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


    MAIN    |    RUSSIA    |    WAR NERD     |    [SIC!]    |    BAR-DAK    |    THE VAULT    |    ABOUT US    |    RSS

© "the eXile". Tel.: +7 (495) 623-3565, fax: +7 (495) 623-5442