Mankind's only alternative 22   OCT.   20  
Mankind's only alternative
War Nerd RSS
MAIN  RUSSIA  WAR NERD   [SIC!]  BAR-DAK  THE VAULT  ABOUT US  RSS
 
 
EXILE BLOGS

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Blogs RSS feed

Limonov Files December 29, 2006
 
Wonderful Christmas: 2002
By Edward Limonov Browse author
 
Page 2 of 2
 

Finally after some more time, they have opened the door. I took my belongings and they walked me to very head of prisoners' line. I squatted as others. Then the convoying officers, looking like medieval knights, arrived. Why medieval knights? Because they were wearing so many heavy clothes, they were barely able to move.

I stood up. I reported my name, my crimes. Red-faced knight hurled, "Why that hair of yours!" (Because I had long hair and beard.)

Office warden of our Prison No. 2 murmured something into the ear of red-faced. "Yes, no problem!" said red-faced. "Go!" said he to me.

I got my belongings and have run to a prisoners car. "Run," because they were screaming: "Run, run!" So I got first to the car, I got a place in the end of one of two confinements. As I proved later, I was best of possible places. Packed as sardines in a can we were nevertheless happy. Any place would be better than prison N2. Most of us have dreamed to be transferred to building N3, in Saratov itself, of Saratov's Central Prison. Because building No. 3 was special building for serious criminals. Because of that, regime of building No. 3 wasn't severe, anyway inhabitants will be sentenced to heavy punishments. I have many chances to be relocated to No. 3, as I was previously held in No. 3.

Traveling at night, packed as sardines, 23 men at all, 12 in our confinement, 11 inside of other confinement, was uncomfortable. We were squashed, cold, but happy anyway. Then I suddenly realized that all "civilized" world is celebrating now. That is the Christmas time, the night from 24 to 25 December!

"You know," I said to a thin man, scrambled at my left shoulder, you know, tonight is a Catholic Christmas!

"What is Christmas?" asked he.

"The day when Jesus Criste was born," said he.

"Tonight?" he asked.

"Exactly," said I.

"Good," he said.

He was polite, everybody are polite in prison, except wardens. Prison is a place where etiquette reigns supreme.

I thought about all my Christmas nights, all twenty of them, celebrated in glorious capitals, in New York and in Paris: Seasons of Greetings...about skating rink at Rockefeller Plaza with huge Christmas tree above it, "jingle bells" near Sak's and Bloomingdale's, of aroma from roasting chestnuts...Oh Jesus Criste! I always thought that I was unhappy in New York, but now from inside of a prisoner's car, speeding on evening Asiatic road to Saratov, I understood that I was happy in New York. And I thought about my Paris Christmases... Sometimes I have been busy with writing on Christmas nights, because my former wife Natasha was occupied, she was singing at night clubs. I would write, then at midnight I would drink a glass of wine, hearing claxoning from the Paris streets, because French always claxoning on Christmas nights, and at night of a New Year...

Few hours later I was entering "quarantine cell" of Saratov's Central Prison. Usually "quarantine cell" is a place of torture for a new arrived prisoners. But in my case, senior of "quarantine" named "Dima Furious" have ordered tea for me.

"Tonight is a Christmas Night, isn't it?" said he.

Seniors of cells usually are recruited amongst prisoners with a high IQ.

"Yes," I confirmed, "Christmas Night."

In the morning I was driven to "my" cellblock Number 3, the object of desire for every prisoner of Saratov's region.

Happy New Year! -- Edward Limonov


SHARE:  Del.icio.us  Digg  My Web  Facebook  Reddit
 
 
FROM THE VAULT
Snapper Season
eXile Prediction: Snapper Season Coming Early! :
The Okhranik
Field Guide To Moscow: Aequoris Capitus :

You Say Terrorist, Washington says Shuttup :
Club Review
House Party Hipsters :
 

 
 
 
LATEST ARTICLES

Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
Editorial
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
[SIC!]
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
[SIC!]
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...

 
 
 

    MAIN    |    RUSSIA    |    WAR NERD     |    [SIC!]    |    BAR-DAK    |    THE VAULT    |    ABOUT US    |    RSS

© "the eXile". Tel.: +7 (495) 623-3565, fax: +7 (495) 623-5442
E-mail: office@exile.ru