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Unfiled October 15, 2004
Fellow, named Surkov
By Edward Limonov Browse author

Fellow, named Surkov, have addressed to nation huge piece of words, two entire pages of them, swarming as worms. 360 millimeters high and 560 millimeters wide. I am talking of course about Surkov's now-famous interview to "Komsomolskaia Pravda" in its issue of September 29. Interview is intended to explain to Russian people, those who are readers of yellow newspaper Komsomolskaya Pravda Putin's programme. Because our monarch Vladimir Putin have sended to his subjects his personal message by his personal footman Surkov.

Surkov is 40 years old, educated, graduated from "Institute of Steel" and from "Institute of International Affaires." So he is educated footman, who worked in succession for Bank Menatep, for Yukos and Alfa Bank, then from 1999 Surkov is appointed to Putin's Administration. Although born in willage Solntsevo in Lipetsk Region, he is not a man of people, but President's man. He is probably very proud of himself, coming from village into Kremlin's offices and halls. I bet he is enormously proud of himself.

When asked by journalist, "One such opinion exist that Putin is using events in Beslan for strengthening his personal power and for liquidation of democracy. How founded are those fears, expressed by Russian and foreign politicians?"

Surkov said cynically: "Our country is unique and requires its own system of governing." In another words that village boy Surkov saying that Russia is populated by such horrible people that unique in their beasty habits, so they should be governed by 29 police armed divisions, about two million policemen in all. Then Surkov said: "Putin strengthening not himself, but state: His authority is sufficiently high and he has no problems with regional leaders. And New System will work not immediately and not for Putin personally."

Here we will stop. Not many people in Russia believe that Putin will step down from power in year 2008. Very few people believe. Many people know that for become a winner in Governors' elections today candidate should spend about 2 dollars per capita for each registered voter. So, to become the Governor of region of Lipetsk, native to Mister Surkov, he, or somebody else who is competing for that place should spend from 5 to 7 million. It is not counting all sorts of bribes which one should bring (or "Zanesti" as politicians call them on their slang) to various chinovniks. With a new system, however, all those money will go to one hands, to person, or persons who will recommend to President to appoint such or such a person a Governor. Probably they will go to Mister Surkov. Certainly, they will go to high chinovniks of Presidents Administration, Mister Surkov among them. That what people say, I heard that from a dozen of State Duma deputies. "Zanesti" -- that is real programme of Putin, Surkov's manifesto intended for poor readers of Komsomolskaya Pravda, are only swarming words.

Amongst others wonderful pearls taken from Surkov's mouth I appreciated an attack on Parliamentarism. "The birth-trauma of Parliamentarism is its dependence on elections, past and future elections. Parlia-mentary discussions always and everywhere smell of populism and in our country with our very low level of political culture often transformed into force." You see, Surkov is sure that we, Russians, have low level political culture, so we are not politically cultured enough to have Parliamentary System. That exactly what he is saying, that twice educated man from Lolntsevo in Lipetsk region. He talks like a worst possible Russophobe will have a shame to talk. Mister Surkov, Russians have sufficient level of political culture. Before President Putin, that Terminator or political liberties came to power, we have had hundreds of political partiers. We still have 45 political parties, despite yours and your monarchs efforts to kill them. We have 350 thousand civil organizations in Russia. But you and your monarch are saying that Russians have not civil society. We have everything, but we still have independent parties and independent organizations, that the story.

And your enormous efforts to kill our liberty and directed towards unique goal: to have only few [better to have one] political party, your own party, party of your monarch.

You don't like Parliamen-tarism? You don't. One can figure out that if dependence on elections is trauma, so the best possible political system is such, which are not dependable on election, in other words hereditary succession of power by the son or daughter of monarch (or President). Let spare our Russian tender people from every four years traumas, let's get (after old Putin will die) let's put his older daughter to presidential armchair, yes, that what you want? I don't know what is her name, but it doesn't matter, it will be Dasha or Masha Putin. Then Ivan Putin, Stepan Putin. No traumas Good Russian names, men's and women's names.

On Chechen War Mister Surkov have said: "Chechen problem, as problem of world terrorism no easy solution. Only difficult, hard solution might be. And we started its realization. It is active socialization of Northern Caucasus, step by step establishing of democratical institutions, establishing foundation for civil society, of effective policing system of production system and social infrastructure, struggle against unemployment, corruption against collapse of culture and education. On that road we will have the stops and even victims. That way is not direct and short one, but is only awaylable."

Bullshit, Mister Surkov. Why that is no terrorism exists in Bellorussia., no terrorism in Ukraine? Why in Russia? Ukraine have enormous unemployment, entire populations of some regions have migrated to Spain, to Portugal, that are problems and problems in Belorussia (its biggest problem however Mister Lukashenko), but our neighbors have no terrorism. Mister Surkov that is Chechen war sending to Russian cities terrorists commandos. Stop that fucking war, Russia will be quiet place.

In the very end of his interview Mr. Surkov for a first time have named "internal enemies" of Putin's Regime. Those are "Limons" and "Yabloki." (!!!). "Practically in our seized country have appeared fifth column of rightists and leftists radicals. Limons and some 'yabloki' are growing on the same branch. The false liberals and real Nazis have more and more in common. Common sponsors of foreign provenance. Common hate, towards Putin's, as they say. But in reality towards Russia as such. No wonder. About those have wrote Dostoevskii, and today all those Smerdiakovs and Liam-shins are pleasantly spending time in all sorts of committees for awaiting eighth year, where they are preaching expediency of defeat of their country in war with terrorism. God will them judge. We will do without them."

That sounds rather ominously. I hope that God of Mister Surkov will be no a God of Lubyanka. What they will do without us, without Limonovs, Yavlinskis, without Khaka-madas, Kasparovs, Nemtsovs? Probably bloody mess. They will have a war in Chechnya for another century?

I hate his guts, of that Mister Surkov, Looking like vampire on Komsomolskaya Pravda page. We have two countries in Russia. Vampires countries and another Russia -- mine.

Edward Limonov

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