Mankind's only alternative 1   DEC.   20  
Mankind's only alternative
War Nerd RSS
MAIN  RUSSIA  WAR NERD   [SIC!]  BAR-DAK  THE VAULT  ABOUT US  RSS
 
 
EXILE BLOGS

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Blogs RSS feed

Kino Korner May 27, 2004
 
Homer-otic Dick-Flick Falls Limp
By Mark Ames Browse author Email
 
 

Troy

Out here in the United States, the opening of Troy was greeted by the Beigeocracy with a sort of sneering competition the likes I haven't seen since the release of...Van Helsing. But this was worse, because the cultural stakes seemed so much higher.

What they sneered at most was the alleged over-saturation of bare hairless torso shots of he-men stars Brad Pitt and Eric Bana. The reviewers implied that somehow the movie had profaned a great work of art by leering over their oiled-up muscles.

Um, eksqueeze me folks, but we're talking about THE GREEKS here! This was the culture that tolerated heterosexual intercourse as a necessary evil, but glorified homosexual ass-pounding as the frosting on the cake, so to speak. We're talking about the original Fag Nation here...and yet all the alleged high-brows are upset by the movie's decidedly metrosexual slant? Has anyone read the Greek classics or seen Greek art and noticed how intensely they deified the male body, paying particular attention to each muscle fiber? What would the dilettante critics of today prefer -- Major League Baseball relief pitchers, in all their love-handled splendor, on the battlefield of Troy?

I shouldn't get worked up -- I should know that reading any movie critic's reviews is like pouring bile into my eyes. Indeed their awful reviews have been useful -- when they slammed Van Helsing it made watching that film a surprising delight, while the low expectations I took with me into the Troy matinee were probably a big reason why I was able to tolerate and even kind of enjoy it.

Another popular sneer fired at Troy out here was that there were too many speeches glorifying glory, and glorifying war as the means to eternal fame.

Folks, we live in such a sad, diminished age. This argument against war-as-glory is just depressing, particularly coming from the world's only empire -- particularly as this empire is crumbling beneath its golf cleats. The knot-heads who populate this country genuinely believe that we don't wage war for eternal glory. And the sad truth is that we probably don't. We wage war for thank-you cards and reconstruction contracts and the hope of turning other places into safe cubicle colonies...but not for glory. There is no glory in American life, not even the possibility of glory.

Moreover, America is a culture that has no room for tragedy. For the ancient Greeks, a tragic ending was as vital to a work's blockbuster success as today's "Hollywood endings" -- happy endings that are rigged to delete even the faintest hint of tragedy -- are to blockbuster success in America. The ancient Greeks were trying to face down and understand man's awful fate. American film strives as desperately as possible to help us deny our depressing reality, to the point where we, as a people, are no longer tragic at all. We are merely successful, winners in competitions, yet banned from even celebrating those victories (no victory parades for the triumphs in Afghanistan and Iraq; fines and penalties for spiking the ball in the end zone; etc.). There is no sweet taste of anything here -- just low-carb diets, olestra and pesticide-soaked condoms.

Our intelligentsia despises glory, fears war and tragedy, sneers at the male body, and can only accept homosexuality as a social-political phenomenon. No two cultures could possibly be more unalike than America and ancient Greece.

The producers of Troy were wise to appoint Wolfgang Peterson as film's director. Most of his movies suck -- whenever a foreigner tries to go Hollywood-action, it usually ends up lame (think Tango and Cash or the sad decay of John Woo). But as a German, he has both an innate sense of what war's about for those who fight it (glory), and the right amount of barely-in-the-closet homosexual lust for the movie's heroes.


SHARE:  Del.icio.us  Digg  My Web  Facebook  Reddit
Ames
Browse author
Email Mark Ames at editor@exile.ru.
 
 
FROM THE VAULT
Moscow is a Hag
Happy Fucking Birthday Moscow, You Ugly Hag! :

Scared Skins : If AntiFA punks and skinheads are brave enough to want to take the fight against Russia’s 50,000 skinheads to the street, why won’t they talk to the eXile?

Moscow Nitelife Roundup :
Russian Music
Charting the Future of Russian Music :
 

 
 
 
LATEST ARTICLES

Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
Editorial
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
[SIC!]
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
[SIC!]
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...

 
 
 

    MAIN    |    RUSSIA    |    WAR NERD     |    [SIC!]    |    BAR-DAK    |    THE VAULT    |    ABOUT US    |    RSS

© "the eXile". Tel.: +7 (495) 623-3565, fax: +7 (495) 623-5442
E-mail: office@exile.ru