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Unfiled April 16, 2004
 
Ultra-Face
By John Dolan Browse author Email
 
 

Anybody can get denied at Moscow's more elitnii clubs; I have the distinction of having been denied entrance to some of the most humble and egalitarian places in town.

Perhaps my finest hour as a feis-kontrol subject came when I was refused entry to Kitayskii Lyotchik, a cheap, friendly club/restaurant just down the street from our place. As far as anyone at eXile knows, this was a first in the history of Lyotchik. Everybody who can make it down their dark, narrow stairway gets in -- except me.

What makes it worse (or better, if you like) is that it was lunchtime. God knows what would've happened if I'd tried to get in later, during clubbing hours. They might have had to kill me.

The denial itself was quick and simple. I had managed to slide past the guy at the door when a small, older manager type popped up to tell me nyet and guide me back out the door. I din't protest; basically I agreed with him.

He didn't give any reason. Maybe it was intuitive, a matter of stance; if you're sufficiently hunched and cowering, even vending machines start snubbing you. From 1988 to 1992, when things were bad, I couldn't get a single candy machine to take my coins. Now most machines treat me like King Farouk. Things are looking up.

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