THE EXILE - Another Year of Holocausts - By Mark Ames

Kino Korner

December 25, 2003

Another Year of Holocausts
By Mark Ames Browse author Email

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Holocaust Moment: This year Moscow saw only two movies about the Holocaust, the Academy-award-winning The Piano and the German foreign-film Nowhere In Africa. Just two? We had a famine, folks. Cuz if there's one thing I can't get enough of, it's Holocaust movies. They shock and surprise me like no other genre. Every time these Holocaust movies start, I think to myself, "It can't happen here, in Germany." And every time, lo and behold, it DOES happen in Germany, and all the Jews start getting gassed. And I think, "But how?" It's such a shocker, but really, it's a lesson for us all. The lesson? "Again and again. Holocaust movies. Again and again."

Best Bin Laden Recruiting Film Of 2003: Gosh, there are so many utterly shitty Hollywood films of 2003 which attracted scores of eager Al Qaeda recruits, where do I start? First, let's get one thing straight. The bin Ladens don't hate our freedom, as Bush and the others say. What they hate are our chick flicks. Just listen to one of those bin Laden tapes: "O faithful, O believers, I say unto you, they that produce chick flicks shall suffer the wrath of Allah! Woe unto the Infidels and their Zionist chick flicks!" This pretty much makes Legally Blond 2 the top Al Qaeda recruitment flick for 2003, although J. Lo's Maid in Manhattan is not far behind. Normally I would have rated those films top black-eye-cons of the year, but I must defer to bin Laden himself on this. I would have liked to have added Terminator 3 as a top Al Qaeda recruitment flick, except that young males from the Third World are just stupid enough to be awed by it. Allahu Akhbar!

Yea Hitler!: Nazis have always been a bore in my book, and Hitler, well, he was just an idiot. Or so I'd thought until I saw that other Holocaust movie early this year, Max. It's a Eurofag movie which pretends to try to take the piss out of the Hitler myth, but inadvertently creates out of the young, struggling Hitler one of the great cinematic Dostoevskian anti-heroes that I've seen. So that when Hitler screams at John Cusack, "I am the avant-garde!" well, you kinda believe it. I found myself giving my TV full 45-degree-angle salutes, forced myself to wear a yellow Star of David, shunned myself on the streets and refused to do business with myself any longer. I only came to my senses after nearly beating myself to death outside of my own apartment. But seriously folks, I highly recommend this movie.

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