Mankind's only alternative 1   DEC.   20  
Mankind's only alternative
Welcome
MAIN  RUSSIA  WAR NERD   [SIC!]  BAR-DAK  THE VAULT  ABOUT US  RSS
 
 
EXILE BLOGS

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Blogs RSS feed

Kino Korner November 25, 2003
 
Kill Quentin, Kick Coens
By Mark Ames Browse author Email
 
 

KILL BILL

There's ironic-stupid, and there's stupid. Kill Bill is just stupid.

What happened to Quentin Tarantino? Did the gods punish him? Or has he atrophied from lack of work and an oversupply of sycophants in his entourage?

There are a lot of directors and writers and assorted humans whom I enjoy watching fail in full public view, but I took no pleasure in witnessing this Tarantino debacle. Kill Bill is a painfully embarrassing viewing experience, like watching Muhammad Ali trying to be witty and menacing while Parkinson's disease twists his head like a Krazy Top. Or... like seeing a great artist fail -- think Martin Scorcese's Bringing Out The Dead, or anything by Lou Reed after The Blue Mask.

There isn't a lot to say about Kill Bill because it isn't about much. Or rather, it's about the fact that Tarantino thinks it's really cool that he likes 70s karate movies. So he makes a 70s karate movie, only it's done in 2003, with a twist. The twist? He uses...get this...girls as the karate killers. Get it? I know, I know, it's incredibly daring and original to switch gender roles like that. But hey, that's ol' Quentin for yuh, just throwing you for a loop like that.

Then there's the dialogue. Tarantino decided it would be doubly-cool if the American women spoke in the same fake, stilted, pompous dialogue of real winkie flicks. So throughout the movie the heroine, played by Uma Thurman, speaks like one of the winkies from "A Fistful of Yen." No, actually she doesn't, because "A Fistful of Yen," the main sketch in "Kentucky Fried Movie," was actually funny and original; Tarantino doesn't even offer that. He simply thought it would be a cool twist to make his dialogue straight out of a translated Japanese B-movie. And Tarantino's Hollywood sycophants yapped in agreement, "That's such a cool concept, Quentin...you're so ironic and daring!"

Only that could explain Uma Thurman's voiceover dialogue, including the classic line about her nemesis' "Shakespearean-in-magnitude struggle to gain control of the Tokyo underworld." That's right: "Shakespearean-in-magnitude" as an adjective in a Tarantino movie. If you think that's clever or ironic, that it works because it was "meant to be bad dialogue," and not simply stupid, then fella, you and I are gonna tangle. Mano a mano.

But the real failure is that Kill Bill is not funny at all. I realize now how crucial comedy has been in Tarantino's movies: comedy covered up his stupidity and pretentiousness.

The first half of Kill Bill doesn't even try to be funny. It's just boring, but at least it promises some sort of payoff. Then when Uma Thurman comes to Japan to seek revenge against her nemesis, those ol' Tarantino-esque hijinks ensue. What Tarantino-esque hijinks, you ax? Welp, I'll tell ya. He has a scene where the master of a sushi bar gets into a master-servant quarrel with his underling, full of slapstick and jokes about balding. I swear, Police Academy 6 wasn't this bad. I know that Tarantino's excuse would be that he's just doing a faithful rendition of a 70s B-karate film. Well wooptie-frickin-do.

So the premise sucks, the movie isn't funny at all, the dialogue sucks huge dingleberries, and the acting is oddly bland.

Kill Bill is so bad that I have to wonder if Tarantino was a moron all along who just happened to get lucky with Pulp Fiction, a truly brilliant movie that has aged well, and Jackie Brown, a spotty movie whose great parts are every time Samuel Jackson appears.

Samuel Jackson. That's what's missing. That poor bastard made Tarantino, he made him look like a genius. And never got the Oscar he deserved, proving that a black man...Hollywood...it ain't legal.

It made me think that an ad should be run before viewing Kill Bill: "This is Quentin Tarantino." [Show movie theater, people thrilled, laughing] and then "This is Quentin Tarantino without Samuel Jackson." [Show movie theater nearly empty, few people remaining either angry, asleep or vomiting.] "Any questions?"


SHARE:  Del.icio.us  Digg  My Web  Facebook  Reddit
Ames
Browse author
Email Mark Ames at editor@exile.ru.
 
 
FROM THE VAULT

Russian Academia Under Fire :

Putting Medvedev's Size Into Perspective :
Feature Story
FANTASY ELECTIONS : The eXile plays the Kremlin's hottest game
$$$
Separated At Worth :
 

 
 
 
LATEST ARTICLES

Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
Editorial
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
[SIC!]
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
[SIC!]
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...

 
 
 

    MAIN    |    RUSSIA    |    WAR NERD     |    [SIC!]    |    BAR-DAK    |    THE VAULT    |    ABOUT US    |    RSS

© "the eXile". Tel.: +7 (495) 623-3565, fax: +7 (495) 623-5442
E-mail: office@exile.ru