Mankind's only alternative 21   MAR.   23  
Mankind's only alternative
Vlad's Daily Gloat - The eXile Blog

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Blogs RSS feed

Club Review July 24, 2003
Buns Unplugged
By Jeremy Lanow Browse author

I'm the guy who was Buns McGillicuddy last Saturday night.

Friday night was an embarrassment. I got as dressed up as possible for me - which means my shirt had buttons - and was still turned away from Club Che and the demokratichniy Karma Bar. That was life for me nightclubbing as myself, Jeremy.

The first club I visited as Buns on Saturday was Shambala. The manager there was kind enough to show me around the different parts of the club. The large dance floor was packed with beautiful young Russians dancing to house music. Off to the side is a bar for a quick refreshment break. There is also a quiet chill-out room upstairs. I was then taken to the VIP room - a small blocked off-section with a few tables and sofas. My crew and I were given complementary drinks and were left alone to enjoy the atmosphere. The techno music filled the VIP room, which made it difficult to converse (through a translator) with my adoring "fans." This room is nice for those who like to go to clubs but do not necessarily want to dance, though I'm not sure how easy it is to get a room like this without being an American Superstar or a member of the Zolotaya Molodezh.

I was whisked away in the Mercedes to another part of town and a club called First - the hardest club in Moscow to get into these days. I was taken in ahead of a long line of good looking young Russians pleading their cases to the bouncers.

First is basically a giant white tent covering an enormous dance floor surrounded by tables. Once again we were sat down at a table in the corner and given drinks and a hookah. My two models, Lena and Ksenia, were tired of sitting around so we danced for a while beside our table as the photojournalist snapped pictures of us.

After a while a slim young Russian woman with a sculpted body and a busted face started to get friendly with me. She didn't know English but kept repeating to me with a thick accent, "I love you soooo much." I got her a drink and tried to get to know her. She was not interested in speaking through the translator and continued professing her love. I grew tired of this and stepped out of character for a moment and told her that I spoke Russian. The first thing she told me was that she wanted to fuck: "Ya hochu trahatsya!" Which was quickly followed by, "for $300." After I refused, she pleaded, "Today is my birthday and for $300 I could by a cute little skirt." I wished her a happy birthday and went back to Lena and Ksenia who were good sports about it.

The final club on our tour was Tseppelin - a favorite of Denis Salnikov. The most interesting thing about this place was the glass-encased women on display as you walk up the stairs. They don't do anything in there. There's no stripping or dancing. But, if you look at one of them long enough, they'll wave at you.

At this point, the hype and excitement of being Buns was wearing thin and people were tired and ready to go home. While leaving Tseppelin I realized something: I don't like going to clubs (and these elite ones are no different). What's the point of going to a place where a glass of juice costs 600R and the dance floor is so packed that you can just manage to sway back and forth a couple centimeters?

Buns will make one more appearance at the record release after party, where we'll be giving away 100 free copies of his new single and video clip, "Touch My Buns." But after that, he's retired.

SHARE:  Digg  My Web  Facebook  Reddit

Your Letters :
The War Nerd
Burn, Malibu, Burn! : Fire: the most effective, underused weapon in the world
Good Night, Bad Luck
Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey : In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face
13 Scary Scenarios : Why 2008 is going to be the scariest year ever!


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


    MAIN    |    RUSSIA    |    WAR NERD     |    [SIC!]    |    BAR-DAK    |    THE VAULT    |    ABOUT US    |    RSS

© "the eXile". Tel.: +7 (495) 623-3565, fax: +7 (495) 623-5442