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Kino Korner October 2, 2002
A Big Fat Greek Lie
By Mark Ames Browse author Email
Page 4 of 4
"I thought he was okay -- my mother's a teacher. He was nice, he loved her."

"Yeah but he had no personality, he was grotesquely sensitive. Women always go for the jerks, it just wasn't true." The fact that I got three bites from American women for this date only confirmed it.

"I guess that's true. What about you, did you like it?"

I went on what I'd call a controlled rant.

Paige took it pretty well. She said, "I guess I just didn't take it very seriously. I don't take movies very seriously. I almost never see them." She had a full schedule of ballet and dance programs to see every night this week.

Normally, a movie like that would make my blood boil. But watching it with Paige sort of complicated my reaction -- she took the edge off the rage, which was disturbing.

I'm not sure if I should watch movies with her again.

"Don't you know who I am?" I asked.

"No," she said, not naively, just matter-of-factly, as if interested.

"I'm not going to be mean," I said.

She looked slightly puzzled but forgiving. "OK."

I'm not going to trash Paige, because she doesn't deserve it. Her photo, name, phone numbers and other details aren't for you.

Yeah, I can hear the line from American Me: "You're showing weakness, ese." But fair is fair. Paige was impressive. She liked it okay. I hated it, though not as bad as I should have. The movie was a Big, Fat, Greek-American Lie.

RATING: I'm giving this film 2 scimitars, a special icon, meaning that it pushes the male viewer to throw his support completely behind the Turks in their conflict with Greece. Were it 3 scimitars, we would support the total Turkish conquest of Cyprus.

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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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