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Moscow Babylon February 6, 2002
Der Neue Mcfaul
By Mark Ames Browse author Email
Page 2 of 4
Now that Bush is in power and corporate-militarism is In, the former bleeding-heart centrist McFaul wants a cut of the action. He's been scrambling around his basement, rifling through his kids' Halloween boxes, looking for a uniform and helmet that not only fits, but looks a bit worn in, as if he's been a militarist from the start.

In "A Job Half Done," the saber-rattling Op-Ed just published in Tuesday's Washington Post, McFaul wants us to believe he's Der Fury-est Fuhrer auf them all. And just to make the point, the only names he fondly drops are those of right-wing American Republicans: "President Reagan rightly understood that the United States had an interest in overthrowing Communist regimes around the world. The Reagan doctrine channeled major resources to this aim and achieved some successes, including most notably in Afghanistan."

Ugh. First of all, everyone, including crusty old Republicans, agrees that Reagan's Afghanistan policy was a total disaster. But that was beside McFaul's point -- afraid that he may be sniffed out as someone who was "soft," he wants to be the very biggest Reagan booster that ever was; therefore he wants to praise even Reagan's worst fuck-ups, the way Stalin's charlatans ingratiated themselves by praising his alleged agricultural achievements. As if there aren't enough assholes in America who pretend that Reagan wasn't the drooling water rodent he really was. McFaul's entry into their ranks is more than a decade late, but he figures now's as good a time as any to jump on the Reagan bandwagon. By making his public admiration more grotesque and obsequious than the next liar's, he's hoping that no one will notice his belated appearance as an ol' fan of the Gipper's.

Yes indeed, as Ed McMahon would say. In fact that's not a bad analogy: McFaul pimping hard to become the Ed McMahon to the new Republican regime, and in some weird, creepy way, he might even succeed. This guy will work for anyone -- so long as "anyone" is in power.

You won't find a single Democrat mentioned in eine Neue McFaul Op-Ed these days. He's looking for a new sponsor, a john with deep pockets. As I learned yet again last week, once you've paid a whore your 100 bucks, you're shit in her eyes; and the minute you jizz in her bag, she's up and outta there, hunting for the next john.

Clinton blew in McFaul's box several times during his presidency. He was a great client. But Clinton no longer "keeps" McFaul. The pundit needs a new pair of shoes, and now Bush is the john with the coin.

Whores are an interesting breed, given to exaggerating their branding: if they're street whores, they find the cheapest banana dye for their hair and douse their snappers in the rankest vanilla perfume available. At Night Flight, even the youngest whores will do their damndest to appear older and sophisticated to attract the biznesmeni; at Metelitsa, playing the Swimsuit Issue supermodel is the fastest way to earn 300 bucks.

McFaul's bleeding-heart optimist gig at Clinton Flight is over. Now it's onto Bushtelitsa, playing the corporate-militarist, however grotesquely overdone. Only that could explain how a Stanford professor (albeit untenured) could characterize Bush's recent thrice-dumbed-down State of the Union speech as "brilliant." He actually used that word to characterize Bush's speech: "brilliant." I'm going to repeat that one more time: according to Stanford-campus-lurker Michael McFaul, George W. Bush's speech was "brilliant." He even agrees with Bush's defense spending increases and overdrive-militarism. "The new sums requested -- $48 billion for next year alone -- are appropriately large," he wrote, hinting that if anything it wasn't enough to satisfy a lifelong Clancy-reading militarist like McFaul.

Like all neophyte waffen-twerps, Herr McFaul wants Bush to go a step further. This is what the "job half done" in the title is all about. He wants not just to conquer the enemy, but to occupy them and destroy any vestige of opposition they may harbor somewhere deep in their souls. He wants, in other words, total physical, cultural, and spiritual domination.

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