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Unfiled November 29, 2001
 
Go Ride a Bathyscaph
By Mark Ames Browse author Email
 
Page 3 of 3
 
Uh, actually, yeah, I am.

"Yeah what? A bathyscaph is a 'yeah'?"

No, a bathyscaph is this small submarine-like thing that you use to go down in the ocean.

"Uh-huh."

Deep down, and look at things on the ocean floor.

"And then you blow it up, right?"

No. You just look at things. And then you go back up.

"Well that sounds pretty stupid. Hey, Omar, here's an idea! Let's build a big bomb, but instead of using it to crush the infidels, we'll just all hop in, drop down into the water, ride around, then float back up. How does that suit you!"

"What are you doing here, man? Go away! Let us finish this damn thing!"

The plot was starting to fail, so I came down to see if I could fix it.

"He came to take our helicopter wheel, man. Don't trust him!"

"That helicopter wheel is ours! Possession is nine-tenths, man!"

No, I'm trying to fix the story. It's not working. It started off okay, then you guys just lost it.

"Oh, so it's our fault. Blame the victim, man."

"This is Afghanistan, man. Graveyard of comedy. Didn't you know?"

"Your infidel humor will collapse like a house of cards, man!"

I know, I realize that. I'm looking for a face-saving withdrawal. Any ideas?

"Yeah, go ride a bathyscaph!"

Very funny. How's this for a joke. It's the year 2020 and grandpa takes his grandson to New York, to the site of the World Trade Center. He explains how this was once the site of the Twin Towers. "Grandpa?" the boy asks in all innocence. "What were the Twin Towers?" The grandpa explains that the Twin Towers were two 110-story office buildings that used to be the tallest in New York before the Arabs destroyed them. Then the boy, in all innocence, asks, "Grandpa, what are Arabs?"

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Ames
Browse author
Email Mark Ames at editor@exile.ru.
 
 
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