Mankind's only alternative 16   JUL.   19  
Mankind's only alternative

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Blogs RSS feed

[SIC!] July 12, 2001
Your Letters
E-mail us:


Is there any way I could get a hardcopy of the Exile? Has there been any more talk of starting an Exile based out of D.C.? Thanks for your time,


Tr?s cher Jim,

Il nous parait que le livre d'eXile :Sexe, Drogue et Calomnie dans la NOVO-Russie est la seule fa?on pour d'obtenir une copie"en dur" d'eXile. Sinon, vous pouvez essayer le Viagra.



You are one whiney fuck

Jesus, no wonder nobody liked you in the states. We have a word for people like you in the U.S., it is 'homo'. Drop the superior tone and think about the guy (me) that is slamming his cock into your sister's ass as your mom licks the drippings up, while you are being an achey-breaky-vagina in the land of the slavs (half-monkeys). You are also a monkey, an annoying and whiney monkey. You are Irish, so you are a full monkey, congrats!

Warmest regards,


Tr?s cher M. H,

Nous avons aussi un mot pour les gens comme vous en France: c'est "pedzouille."


To Whoever is Reading This... Check out this article I wrote...

If you like it you can put it in your paper, If you hate it you can put it in there too...

If you really like it, perhaps you would like me to write more when I move to Moscow in October, I'll be playing in the jungles of Ecuador for the next three months and won't have computer access.

Article is attached,

draylin jae / dj enzymatic

Tr?s cher M. Jae/DJ Enzymatic,

Apr?s avoir jet? un coup d'?il ? votre enzymatique excr?mentation nous avons d?cid? que vos visions ? l'orthographe ?nigmatique conviennent mieux au jungles d'?quateur qu'aux rues de Moscou.


Dear Sirs:

My name is Vijay Gartnuc. I run a chain of men's clothing stores called Wallaby Station, we sell apparel for shorter men. We also own a subsidiary in Michigan called Napolean's Closet. I am planning on opening up 2 stores in Moscow within the next three months and I'm interested in advertising. I'd like to have members of your staff at our grand openings if possible. My feeling is that, your publication is read by short, embittered expatriates who might be good customers for me. Of course we would prefer a short member of your staff for the grand opening, but we could settle for Mark or Matt also. Perhaps Jake Rudnitsky would be short enough to fit the bill. If you could also provide us with any demographics on your readers- specifically how tall they are, that would be great. Right now, I'm in Islamabad for my father's funeral but I should be in Russia within two weeks assuming my wife's visa comes through. In the meantime, please send me your rates and let me know about possible appearances by your staff. Yours-

Vijay T. Gartnuc

Chairman: Wallaby Station/Napolean's Closet

Tr?s cher M. Gartnuc:

Veuillez accepter nos plus sinc?res condol?ances pour la mort (pr?matur?e) de votre p?re bien-aim?. Nous serions tr?s heureux de vous compter parmi nos annonceurs, n?anmoins. Nos tarifs sont les suivants:

{un encart publicitaire fait 1/30 d'une page de journal A4: approximativement 5 cm sur 6 cm}

1 encart: 125$; 2 encarts: 250$; 4 encarts: 500$; 8 encarts: 1000$; 10 encarts:1250 $; 1/2 page: 1875 $; pleine page 3750 $. Les contractants ? long terme b?n?ficient de r?ductions g?n?reuses.

En ce qui concerne les apparitions individuelles, nous demandons en principe un d?lai de six mois, mais en raison de la nature particul?rement intriguante de votre proposition nous sommes pr?ts ? la prendre en consid?ration. Les apparitions personnelles de nos r?dacteurs sont tarif?es en fonction de leur taille... voir la liste ci-dessous:

Mark Ames, 1m 92 3000 $ de l'heure; Matt Taibi, 1m 89: 2200 $; Kevin Mc Elwee, 1m83: 1500 $; Jake Rudnistsky, 1m 73: 1000 $. Cependant, notre gar?on de courses John Heisel (Im 76) est disponible ? des tarifs beaucoup plus modestes. Est-il besoin de le pr?ciser chacun des membres de notre ?quipe aura ses propres modifications ? apporter au contrat qui devront ?tre n?goci?es au cas par cas.

En remerciant de vous int?resser ? notre magazine

Dimitri Kimmelman (1m 90)

R?gie publicitaire

P.S. Vous devriez peut-?tre prendre contact avec le dirigeant d'Independant Media, Derk Sauer, qui d'apr?s ce que savons est ? la fois de tr?s petite taille et fauch? comme les bl?s!

SHARE:  Digg  My Web  Facebook  Reddit

The Nightmare Before Novy God :

Once Bitten, Twice Felched :
Serial Murder Interview - Russia
Interview With A Russian Serial Killer : Russia's #2 serial killer airs his views, opinions, worries...

John Mccain: Biggest Fag In War History :


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


    MAIN    |    RUSSIA    |    WAR NERD     |    [SIC!]    |    BAR-DAK    |    THE VAULT    |    ABOUT US    |    RSS

© "the eXile". Tel.: +7 (495) 623-3565, fax: +7 (495) 623-5442