Mankind's only alternative 21   NOV.   17  
Mankind's only alternative
Welcome
MAIN  RUSSIA  WAR NERD   [SIC!]  BAR-DAK  THE VAULT  ABOUT US  RSS
 
 
EXILE BLOGS

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Blogs RSS feed

Russia May 19, 2008
 
The Exile’s 2008 Happy Planet Guide To Moscow
 
Page 2 of 3
 

Time: Doctors recommend that that you not spend more than 6 minutes in the Hungry Duck. Seniors and children should avoid it.

Berezovsky Assassination Attempt

In the charming old section of Moscow known as "some old section," with its candy-colored two-story houses and winding old streets, you can visit the very spot where Boris Berezovsky survived an assassination attempt when rivals placed a bomb underneath his Mercedes and set it off, decapitating Berezovsky’s driver, but leaving the future human rights crusader unscathed. Re-enact the moment when FSB goon (and future human rights crusader-cum-polonium-martyr) Alexander Litvinenko arrives on the scene, and agrees to be hired out by Berezovsky.

Time: 30 minutes

Putin’s Directorial Debut

You know President Vladimir Putin as the steely ex-KGB agent who brought his country to heel on a mixture of authoritarianism and order. But did you know that in 1999, Putin tried his hand at directing? That’s right, visit the famous apartment above the ElDorado restaurant on Bolshoi Polyanka, where then-Prosecutor General Yuri Skuratov was filmed having a 2-on-1 hardcore sex session by then-FSB-head Vladimir Putin. This early stab at amateur-voyeur hardcore was such a hit with President Boris Yeltsin--who popped his first chubbie in 20 years--that the ailing leader named Putin as his successor.

Time: 1 hour=4000r, 2 hours=6000r.

Mayonnaise Factory

Take a day trip out to the Ramensky District for a taste of Russia’s culinary tradition. The Lubitelsky Mayonnaise Plant may be small but manages to produce roughly 100 tons of mayonnaise every month, which is still not nearly enough to supply the district’s 250,000 people.

Time: 4-16 hours, depending on traffic.

Bittsevsky Park

Come to this vast green forested park in order to pay your respects to the greatest serial killer of the 21st century, Alexander Pichushkin, who was convicted of killing 49 people in this very spot. This location is perfect for a vacationing family; you can either play chess on one of the park’s numerous tables (Pichushkin’s favorite hobby) or run around after your kids and wife pretending to stick bottles and sticks into their skulls (also his favorite) or you throw them down the sewage-canal waterslide, by dumping them into one of the park’s manholes, just like the Bittsevsky Maniac himself.

Recommended time: 49 minutes (62 minutes for purists)

Yasha Levine’s Famous Volga

Westerners might get the idea in their head that it would be fun, funny and a bit kitsch to own a Russian-made Volga car. Guide Yasha Levine is here to answer your questions, and beat that stupid idea out of your fucking head, using his own disastrous purchase of a 1999 Volga as his prop. Note: Yasha also offers 50 ruble rides around his courtyard to tourists. Group rates available.

Time: 45 minutes

A Real Russian Flea Market

For years now, Western tourists have put Izmailovo on their list of places-to-shop, snapping up matrioshka dolls, Dagestani rugs, fur hats and Soviet-era posters and paraphernalia. Sadly, if you’re American, you can no longer afford the shashlik, let alone a lacquer box. For you, a more appropriate market is just up the road at Cherkizovsky, where the dollar-poor American fits right in with his socio-economic peers from Uzbekistan, Vietnam, and...well, not China, not anymore. Tajikistan, sure. There, you can buy yourself a pair of pointy shoes and a murse, and maybe pick up a leopard-print skirt for the missus.


SHARE:  Del.icio.us  Digg  My Web  Facebook  Reddit
 
 
FROM THE VAULT

Recession Penis :
ComiX
Get Your Putin On :
Destricted Sucks
Destricted: But is it Porn? : Pretentious porn film gets anal-yzed
Celebrity Retards
Celeb-Retard Roundup! :
 

 
 
 
 

    MAIN    |    RUSSIA    |    WAR NERD     |    [SIC!]    |    BAR-DAK    |    THE VAULT    |    ABOUT US    |    RSS

© "the eXile". Tel.: +7 (495) 623-3565, fax: +7 (495) 623-5442
E-mail: office@exile.ru