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[SIC!] May 28, 2008
 
Your Letters
 
Page 2 of 3
 

WEIRD SCIENCE

Hey Gary,

I just saw a History Channel program called "Dogfights of the Future". I hope you will be able to view it and give your opinion of it. Its a very one sided documentary about the F-22, F-35, Reaper UCAV, Airborne Laser; and how they are supposed to be superior and kicking ass in the future, 2020 or so. Problem is, they are painting scenarios against generation 4 planes like the Rafale, Su-30, Su-27, Mig 29, Mig 35. Sure they kick ass but I don't think its a fair documentary.

Appreciate it much.

Joe

Dear Mr. Joe,

You know what’d be cool? It’d be so cool if, like, they had these digital-animated graphics of dogfights between, like the F-35 and the Starhound Class Viper from Battlestar Galactica? Or no no no, wait! Okay, what about a Reaper UCAV and a Starhound Class Viper versus a Cylon Raider and an Airborne Laser. Wouldn’t that be cool? Or no, what if we had…wait a minute. Do you smell that? Anyway, what if you had like a Sukhoi and a…hold on, something smells funny. Hey, we've smelled that smell before. What’s that stale urine odor that suddenly wafted over this letter? Can someone open a window please?

AN OFFISPHINCTER AND A GERBILMAN

Vlad,

I am a Canadian working in Croatia and your blog is a big hit over here let me tell you. What you wrote about McCain was absolutely priceless. The viewpoint you presented in contrast to the common American one was hilarious. Which brings me to my question...

I was watching Top Gun, which is about as propaganda-ish as you can get, and it made me wonder. What is your perspective on all these 80s American movies where the Soviets are the bad guys that always get defeated by Americans? I would really love to hear what you have to say on this, because I'm sure many inbred Oklahoman fans would welcome this insight from yourself!

Ryan

Dear Mr. Ryan,

Richard Gere replies, "I object to your slanderous depiction of ‘An Officer And A Gentleman’ as ‘propaganda.’ It was a film about transformation of character, about the triumph of the spirit, and the powerful bonds that tie a working-class gerbil to an egotistical sphincter with a prostate of gold, and how these two seemingly far-apart beings fuse together, raise each other up to new heights, and squeeze hard until the gerbil suffocates. And as it suffocates, it starts to quiver, thereby causing the sphincter to pulsate, dilate, and then expel the gerbil’s corpse. That’s not propaganda. That’s a human story for the ages, Ryan, something you clearly just don’t get."

DEMANDING NERDITE

Dear Gary,

i'm a big fan of your articles. I already preordered a copy of your book (I hope it contains at least some new stuff!). I'd like to know your opinion about Myanmar and the western charity organisations. After Myanmar was hit by a big storm the governments refuses western aid. I'm not sure if this is a really dumb or a good decision.

On one hand it would be good for the government if someone else cleans up the mess. The Myanmar people would be happy, the western countries would smile and willingly donate more money and the army ... err ... government could collect a lot of the aids. But on the other hand the people might come into contact with westerners and the westerners could infiltrate the society. But rather more important: If the government refuses any aid they get the bigger press. Westerners will donate more money which the government can collect.


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FROM THE VAULT
Horny Expatriate
Field Guide To Moscow: Humbertus Humbertus :

Bitch Slapped :

Bye-Bye, Miss Russian Pie : The Ofis is now closed forever

Your Letters :
 

 
 
 
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