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Mankind's only alternative

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

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[SIC!] March 3, 2008
Your Letters
Page 3 of 4

But, I cant't go into details of your mistakes now, because it'll take sooo long, but if you're interested, can advice you some books, or articles etc.



Dear Mr. Ayse, The Recession Penis replies, "Um, actually I'm not totally comfortable replying to this letter. Nothing to do with him being Muslim or Turkish or any of that. It's just, you know, when you put a Recession Penis in the same room as an Ayse, well, it's just something that in general you want to avoid. So I'll take a pass on this."


War Nerd,

Why haven't you written a book yet? I love your columns and they need to be published but you should write a hardcover on your theories of war. You have a lot of original thoughts and a very humourous writing style, enough to make history interesting even if the reader is already familiar with it.

Richard Dobson

Dear Mr. Dobson, The Recession Penis replies, "Uh, yeah. Okay I'm supposed to say something here about the fact that Gary Brecher is publishing a book, and you can pre-order it on amazon and all that. But, uh, I'm going to have to speak to someone about this. When I first joined The eXile I really didn't expect to be answering [sic] letters. And now I'm like this big 'star' or something, and they're forcing me to do all this promo work. I'm really not...I mean this isn't my thing. I only agreed to do this because I thought it would be fun, but it's really not. I'm really feeling shriveled right now. Sorry Mr. Dobson, I just can't be witty when I'm unhappy."


Dear Mr. Ames,

I know less than half of you half as well as I should like, and I like more than half of you half as well as you deserve.

Now, cough it up, you cheap, BCCed bastards*, and pass it on. Obama needs to run ads against Clinton in the remaining states. If he can beat Hillary, he can win. The poll numbers are already there, and the more people see Obama, the more they like him. Mccain's not pulling charm out of his old, pale, withered ass in the next year, so Obama needs help now! OBAMA IS THE ONLY ANTI-WAR CANDIDATE CLINTON IS A WAR-LIABILITY AND WILL EMPLOY FAMILIAR, INFERIOR CRONIES.


Here's a video of Obama:

Wouldn't you rather have a young guy in there? Who'll hire...maybe like, Google people to work in government, instead of weird braindead Christian old rich and mongoloid oilmen with 102 IQs? You know, a young guy, with some fading but notable plasticity left between his neurons?

* For conservatives, here's Gary Brecher on the surge from one year ago:

"Unfortunately, this isn't a surge, just a reinforcement, and a pretty small one. And if you have to ask whether it'll work, you don't understand guerrilla war. Of course it won't work. Classic guerrilla doctrine - Hell, plain common sense - says when the occupier floods the city with troops, the guerrilla lays low. Which the Iraqis are doing. And yet people are so stupid they're already crowing that "incidents are down" since the Surge.

Well, duh. That's the idea: avoid battle, watch the Arabic-subtitled Dynasty reruns, let the clueless foreigners zoom up and down the alleys. Meanwhile, every soccer-playing kid in the street is memorizing patrol times and tipping his uncle off about the vulnerable small outposts we're now occupying as part of our meet-&-greet policy. Just yesterday the Sunni hit one of those mixed Iraqi/US outposts in daylight: two GIs killed, 17 wounded."

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The (Culinary) Battle of Vinograd :

America’s Dangerous Decline :

Moscow Nitelife Roundup :

Indie In Moscow? :


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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