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Death Porn December 15, 2007
 
Death Porn: Hog-tied For The Holidays
 
A sovok hotel not far from Zhukov's stomping ground
 

LEGEND:

Knob Goblin
Knob Goblin

All In The Family
All in the family

Neighbors
Neighbours involved

Old people
Old people

Control shot
Control shot

Riddled with bullets
Riddled with bullets

Podyezd
Podyezd

Cannibalism
Cannibalism

Cries for help ignored
Cries for help ignored

Investigation continuing
Investigation continuing

Children
Children

Low-yield murder
Low-yield murder

Really stupid criminal
Really stupid criminal

Carved up like a turkey
Carved up like a turkey

Killing "connected with professional activities of victim"
Killing "connected with professional activities of victim"

Hunger-related crime
Hunger-related crime

Murder-suicide
Murder-suicide

HOG-TIED FOR THE HOLIDAYS

Investigation continuing Murder-suicide

When the body of a managing director at Russia's second largest bank turned up hogtied at the bottom of his empty pool in podmoskovie, Russia's finest initially thought: murder. Thankfully, they eventually came to their senses and questioned that diagnosis. It's not the job of the DP Bureau to get heavy into the heavy politics of why they did this. But boy, being connected with Medvedev's political reputation, heavy it is. What is the official justification? Radio Ekho Moskvy reports that members of the investigation committee now believe the evidence points to a technique that was "well-known in forensics but rarely used," known as "guaranteed self-destruction."

So, for all the naive folks who thought that maybe, just maybe, the death might have to do with Oleg Zhukovsky's connections to the timber industry, where he handled VTB's accounts, well, you're just stereotyping. Russia's not like that any more. No siree, not in this day and age! This was just a simple case of guaranteed self-destruction. There was even a note in which Zhukovsky supposedly wrote that no one was to blame to prove it.

Zhukovsky: alive, dead

The precise time of death has yet to be established, but the police are sure it happened sometime last Thursday at the 55-year-old Zhukovsky's luxury dacha in the Lesnaya Opushka subdivision in the Odintsovo district. He'd apparently been tortured before dying (also self-inflicted we assume), and investigators initially said that he may have died of a heart attack. But now they know better--it was clearly a case of "guaranteed self-destruction."

DEPUTY DIRECTOR SHOT

Killing "connected with professional activities of victim" Control shot

While the authorities may be hesitant to blame organized crime in the deaths of high-up figures in some economic spheres, like banking, they're much more open to the possibility in others, like construction. So, when the 55-year-old deputy director of the Mytishchi construction rynok turned up riddled with holes in Kapustino, nobody thought for a second that this might be a case of guaranteed self-destruction. The fact that there was a control shot all but ruled out guaranteed self-destruction as a cause. According to Newsru.com, there have been at least six construction-related hits throughout Russia since the beginning of 2007. We haven't been counting, but we're guessing the number's quite a bit higher.

SORRY CHARLIE

Neighbors Low-yield murder

A 14-year-old girl and her 16-year-old Vietnamese boyfriend were arrested in Volgogradskaya oblast recently for a double murder. The murder was a straight-forward affair: the girl arrived home to her hut in the Erzovka village to find her mother getting wasted with two drinking buddies. They resisted when she tried to kick her mother's guest out, so she called her Vietnamese boyfriend for help. We have yet to see a credible explanation of what a Vietnamese guy was doing living in such a god-forsaken village, but clearly he'd been there long enough to know how things work.

The 16-year-old tried diplomacy at first. He then turned to force but, after trying to push the pair out physically, he soon realized he was no match for two middle-aged Russian alcoholics. So he grabbed a kitchen knife and told the drunks that he wasn't playing around. Stupidly, they continued to ignore him. It didn't take him long to make chop suey out of them. Both drunks died on the spot, and now Russia's courts are trying to decide if the killing was justified. We're guessing he'd have already walked if the roles were reversed (if he had Slavic blood and he killed a couple of Chinamen) but as things stand, his odds don't look good.

AGRARIAN REFORM

Investigation continuing Killing "connected with professional activities of victim"

Russia's attempts at agrarian reform hit a speed bump on December 10, when a car bomb failed to kill Aleksei Chulkov, an advisor to the Minister of Agriculture. The high-up chinovnik did lose a lot of blood and is still in intensive care, so it's too early to tell if the latest efforts at reform will ultimately bear fruit.

According to Komsomolskaya Pravda, the explosion went off at 8:36 in the morning when Chulkov started his Volvo outside his Vorontsovkaya ul. home. Luckily for him, Volvos always rate high on Consumer Report's safety evaluations or he might not have survived. Pictures of the car after the explosion show that it's in fairly good condition, considering that experts estimate that approximately 500 grams of a TNT equivalent were used. The bomb itself was radio-activated, meaning the killer must have been somewhere in the vicinity when Chulkov got in.

Nobody's quite sure why the 50-year-old Chulkov was targeted, but it could be more evidence of the high-level razborka that's taking shape in the lead-up to the presidential election. Several sources claim that he was also a colonel in the SVR (Russia's internal FSB), although his neighbors had never seen him in a uniform. Other theories say Chulkov has some business interests in the Oil sector, and that it was probably just 'business.'

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