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The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
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Editorial October 10, 2007
 
Gloat Your Exile: We Predicted The Current Credit Bubble
 
 

Our editorial-reader covenant here at The eXile has always been summed up by our motto: "Read us, because we're way fucking smarter than you." Running a business model based on this cutting-edge theory has, oddly enough, led to us always being right, and yet remaining oddly poor. But we don't mind being poor, because being more right than you is its own reward. That, and the opportunity to shameless gloat about our rightness and your wrongness. After all, anyone can get rich, but not everyone can be as right as we are. Or as we like to say around our offices, "You can't buy gloating rights."

Well, okay, actually you can buy gloating rights. That's right, we're announcing in this issue our offer to cash-rich readers the opportunity to pay for the right to gloat in this new Gloat Your Exile column. But it'll cost ya some!

Meanwhile, let the pros at The eXile show you how it's done. Ready? Now, straighten your back, tuck your hands into your armpits, wiggle your legs, and start a-gloatin!:

The eXile

June 16, 2006 (issue 240)

Why You're Fucked: Financial Crisis II: Another Sequel

By Mark Ames

Could we be on the verge of another financial catastrophe? I'll admit it: I'm hopeful.

...Last time it was a debt bubble. This time it's a credit bubble. What that means is that since 2000-1, when the US markets crashed and the economy headed into a recession, the US Central Bank pumped shitloads of money (liquidity) via ridiculously low interest rates. This meant that people had not so much "more money" as "easy-to-access" money which they used to buy houses. All that easy money meant housing prices soared for five years straight, to levels unprecedented when compared to the average Joe's stagnating income. However, all the Joes who owned houses saw their asset prices soar, much like those who held NASDAQ stocks in the 90s saw their stock portfolios soar, and that meant more money to spend on everything from plasma TVs to hybrid SUVs, liposuctions surgeries and everything else sold on credit. The US government worked the same voodoo on its budget - massively increasing spending while at the same time cutting tax revenues. In other words, offering easy, free money to itself.

...So keep the easy credit rolling, ye greedy finance goons...the higher it rises, the harder it will fall. And the more for me.

Hoo-wee did he call it! Now, let's see how long it takes the journalism world's leading economists to catch up with The eXile:

CNN

May 23 2007

When the credit bubble goes 'pop':

By Grace Wong

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) - Cheap debt has never flowed as freely as it does now, but the credit boom won't last forever, experts say.

The Economist

Jul 12th 2007

Another pounding: Problems in America's housing market begin to undermine confidence in the global credit bubble

WHEN the man approaching you is wearing boxing gloves, it makes sense to duck. The crisis in the American subprime-mortgage market was clearly visible months ago...

Hey, it only took 'em a year. And the whole thing was clearly visible months ago, although for some reason, only the eXile saw it. Don't worry CNN, fret not Economist, you'll catch up to The eXile one of these days.

Meanwhile, ask yourself this: Do you dream of looking as smart as us? Is all your money somehow not giving you the kind of satisfaction you'd expected? Then give it to us! Email our sales goddess Zalina at zalina@exile.ru and for the right price, you too can flaunt your shit and dirty-chicken over the errors of your enemies.

We're serious! Are u?

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FROM THE VAULT

The Hand that Counts the Vote :

Dangerous Liaisons: Drugged & Robbed in Moscow :
Moron 5 - Adam Levine
Letter from Moron 5's Lawyer :
In Brief!
Al Gore Concedes Prize :
 

 
 
 
LATEST ARTICLES

Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
Editorial
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
[SIC!]
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Your Letters
[SIC!]
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

War Nerd Summer Reading Guide
The War Nerd By Gary Brecher
It’s summer, you’ve got a little more time off, so you can read up on war instead of trying to live in whatever boring suburb you live in. Lawns, neighbors, dogs, kids—it all sucks and the best thing you can do is get as far out of it as you can.

 
 
 

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