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[SIC!] September 10, 2007
 
Your Letters
 
 

ME SIKH-Y-SIKHIE

Dear Mr. Brecher,

About your Sikh article. That's nice, but there is no conversion concept in Sikhism, other than converting from ignorance to enlightenment. The only way to get enlightened in Sikhism is by studying the Guru Granth Sahib's holy scriptures. Many Sikh priests and preachers preach a Hinduized form of Sikhism full of Brahamanised rituals. Few actually preach the contents of Guru Granth Sahib. The hypocrites follow 90% Hindu philosophy disguised as Sikhism.

I am a white American lady that is studying the Guru Granth Sahib. I hope one day you will call me and chat. I am President of Guru Granth Parchar Mission of USA, Inc. I live in the bay area of California near San Francisco. My toll free number in USA is 888-875-6415. If you have any questions about Sikhs philosophy or want to take the Amrit, be careful who you go to. There are lots of political evil spirits fooling many Sikhs back into Hinduism.

Nancy Tobesman

harsimiritkaur@khalsa.com

Dear Mrs. Tobesman,

Mr. Brecher isn't all too keen on chatting with a New Age hag, but to all of our Sikh readers, and to all of our Indian readers everywhere, if you're tired of surfing too many white chicks/Sikh dicks sites and want to get yourself some real genuine gullible gori-snapper, then boy have we got the gori for you!

LIAR LIAR

Hi Mark,

Just a few quick words to my new favorite website. I discovered you guys through a link on Howard Stern re: some recent buzz about the Maroon 5 frontman. I've even read past articles and enjoy the humor while you maintain an unbiased account, i.e. Mayonnaise and Colombine fascist Hoffschneider.

Keep up the entertaining wordsmithing,

Spasiba,

Jerry Silverman

Dear Mr. Silverman, We thought you said it would just be "a few quick words." But we count 58 words. Please be more accurate next time. You really fooled us into thinking we'd be reading 3-4 words max.

DOCTOR FEELGOOD

Dear Nancy Deal,

Your Ofis Space are some of the most brilliant, funny articles I have EVER read. Oh, my God! I work in a medical office; thanks for the insights. Are there any more babes like you in Russia?

Jed

PS: Sick as I am, I really want to go visit. Before, I just kinda wanted to visit.

Dear Mr. Jed, Since you're around doctors and all, maybe then you can finally diagnose that giant painful sore on Nancy's vagina, the one that's constantly oozing pus and yeast curds and... oops, wait, hope we didn't spoil your infatuation with her.

NUCKOLHEAD RETURNS!

War Nerd,

You should get your paws on this [link to some shitty book - Ed.] and review it. This guy is about the most pompous yet stupid "commentator" I've ever run across, and this book should be chock full of howlers.

just as a point of reference, during the Kosovo "war" this guy wrote for Mother Jones his ruminations that the "real" motive for NATO going to war was the precious lead mines at Trepca, which he estimated to be worth 100 billion dollars. Yep, NATO went to war for that rare and precious commodity, lead. (his errors at calculating the value of such an asset alone were hilarious). oh and he styles himself as "Noam Chomsky's younger brother."

Incidentally, however, your pals Mark and Matt were almost as far off the mark, with breathless predictions of the noble Serbs fighting to the last blahblahblah. I still think you should write up one or more of the various Balkan wars.

Mark Nuckols


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